Back to the Vault

The prediction/start of season/Oilers-are-undefeated-and-at-the-top-of-the-standings-because-the-season-hasn't-started-yet issue of Vue Weekly's In The Box is coming (SEPTEMBER 27th issue).
I'm excited about writing about the Oilers (and Oil Kings too - what the Hell?) for Vue.
The column has managed to slip talk of NHL hockey into a weekly entertainment paper full of rock stars, left wingers who aren't Ales Hemsky, artists, artistes (there is a difference), restaurant reviews and the film-snobbiest reviews of movies in the city (and that's a good thing). But it always surprises me that, in this city, the culture vultures are also Oiler fans. It seems an odd match (millionaire hockey players cheered on by bohos) but that's Edmonton.
We can mix our high-and-low brow. It's hockey and the art gallery. Wine and rye/Cokes. Tom Robbins and Stompin' Tom.
Mixing the hipster sensibility and Oiler news is a delicate balance but its much more fun to write.

Anyway, here's last year's Oiler season predictionsand how they played out. It was an interesting mix of rose-coloured glasses and some real bad vibes.


Excerpted from last year:
Fearless Oiler Predictions

Dave (ME!!!!): The team will make the playoffs.
NOPE.
Starting with game one against Calgary, at least six people in (blech) Flames jerseys will get kicked out of Rexall during each of the Battles of Alberta.
PRETTY CLOSE.
One veteran Oiler will suffer a season-ending (and potentially career-ending) injury.
Ethan Moreau - sucks to be right.
Goals will come in buckets,
Make that vomit or stomach lining
but no single Oiler will be in the top 15 in scoring.
Right again!
At least four Oilers will be in the top 30 in scoring, though.
Top Oiler scorer (Sykora - 110th place) Smytty finished 51st but he doesn't count.
The powerplay will strike often, but will give up too many shorthanded opportunities with forwards on the point and what’s-his-name gone.
The Oilers only allowed four shorties - second best in the league. Considering that they had the fourth worst PP% other teams got a lot of chances with two full minutes to score. Wrong again.
MacT will keep getting funnier in post and pre-game interviews.
He is funny. March and April didn't give him much to laugh about though.
We’ll find out who the real fans are this season as the playoff bandwagon party becomes a regular season rollercoaster ride. DY

TB: Ok, I know that everyone in Oilerville is wondering how we’re going to do this year without old what’s-his-nuts on the blueline. Sure, Pronger played a lot of minutes, and hard ones at that. But if the Oil had gotten just four less points last season and missed the playoffs, no one would be saying boo about him leaving town. We may not be flush with Norris trophy candidates per se, but it’s not as if MacTavish is just stuffing hobos into jerseys and hoping for the best, either.
That didn't happen until February or so. Although he played surprisingly well, Mathieu Roy has a hobo beard. If any hobos had shown up at Kevin Lowe's door and could skate backwards, they would have played by March after the injuries.
If everything does start to go horribly wrong, I don’t think we’ll have to wait long for MacT to pull the trigger.
Or take sleeping pills?
We’re deep up front
on paper we wereand
in goal, and it shouldn’t take more than a month for some teams (the Leafs!) to realize that they’re just playing out the string. As for predictions—what I’m actually supposed to be doing here—watch for Lupul to shine,
the pine - during powerplays anyway
Smith to get meaner, Bergeron to mature
all the way to Long Island
and Hemsky to make goalies bleed out their eyes. TB



More Fearless Predictions From The “Experts”


“I don’t feel that they will make the playoffs. When Jason Smith and Steve Staios are our main d-men they won’t make the playoffs. And (Daniel) Tjarnqvist is on the number one pair? Tjarnqvist? They have too many question marks this year. I went to a pre-season game and the defence was mostly rookies—they were all over the place letting in goals. They looked terrible.”
Brent Oliver—local musician, promoter (Brent Oliver Presents) and President of the Green Pepper Hockey League.

Brent, dirty stinking musician type that he is, nailed it. He gets another go this year.

“I think they’ll do good like last year. Now they have more fast players and better scorers. They’re missing Chris Pronger, though.”
“The Boy”—Kai, age 7. New hockey fan.

He's 8 now. Must be weird to think of the last Oiler Stanley Cup as ancient history. Kind of like how the Leafs were revered when I was 8.

“Ales Hemsky will have a breakout year, scoring over 85 points
53.. but he did miss 18 games - and was an Oiler in February, March and April. That doesn't help
and making his first all-star team. Joffrey Lupul will lead them in goals, Hemsky will lead in points
nope and nope - I don't know what Lupul's goals were but I hope he realizes them in Philly - boy, did he get a rough ride and as a team they will finish in the top five in goals scored.
...or the bottom. Count from the bottom and he's right.
The Battle of Alberta will be a battle for first place in the Northwest with the Flames winning by less than four points. The Oil will finish fifth or sixth and Rexall will once again be a madhouse in April and (hopefully for Oilers fans) in May as well.”
Jason Gregor hosts “Just A Game” weeknights at 9 PM on Team 1260 Edmonton Sports Radio.


“Things just wouldn’t feel right if the Oilers failed to start the season with at least one glaring, potentially team-crippling question mark—last year it was goaltending, this year it’s defence. Still, our offence looks pretty scary
it did, but not in the scary-to-opponents way
and Roloson is great when someone isn’t breaking his knee, so I think we’ll do all right. But a deep post-season feel pretty damn unlikely unless we pull off a trade for a veteran offensive presence on the blue line.
We got one - but not until July
Smith-Staios is just not going to cut it. Cautiously optimistic predictions: Oilers win all eight games against Calgary this year; Hemsky scores 40 goals.”
Oooops. Cautiously optimistic indeed.
Chris!—Covered in Oil co-Blogger (www.coveredinoil.blogspot.com)


“I predict that the Oilers will break the Cup-loser-misses the playoffs curse and finish in eighth. No higher because I can’t see Roloson doing what he did in the playoffs over a full regular season and the numbers 4-6 d-men are real question marks. Calgary and Edmonton will play for Western Conference Championship. Belinda Stronach will date a prominent Oiler, who will then ask for a trade for personal reasons.
That would have been fun....something other than hockey...anyone see her with Smytty?
Oh, and to the IMPORTANT stuff ... Leafs ... finish … last ... in ... East ... win draft lottery.”
Close but no draft lottery
Steven Sandor—co-founder In the Box, former Oilers Zone editor, author of the Battle of Alberta (Heritage House) and current sports editor, 24 Hours in Toronto.


“With three killer lines up front, the Oilers have all the firepower they need and nothing to worry about on the attack.
Except reality kicking in....
Awesome acquisitions in the off-season should pan out big time. Sykora and Lupul are already fitting in nicely.
Remember this was just after pre-season....
The big question is on the blue line. Do the Oilers have the defence they need to get to another Stanley Cup final? I say yes.
Why couldn't you have been right? It's Kory Read's fault. Kory Read's fault!
Veteran D-man Jason Smith has some promising young talent to paint copper and blue.
they looked more black and blue last season - nice analogy though
His leadership, along with a solid coaching staff, and a proven set of goalies should be enough to take us in to another strong playoff run. Bring an extra loonie to Rexall Place this year. Beer went up one dollar to $7.50 ... ouch!”
Kory Read—Sonic 102.9 news/sports guy. He won his job in a contest—and he kept it.


“What the Oilers have is confidence. The confidence that comes from just about winning the Stanley Cup. This club can score right out of the gate and fight from behind. They could be fighting for first or second place in the division. It’s going to be a great year for the Oiler fans.”
I like Billy. He's seen more hockey seasons and hockey games in real life than I've seen on PS2.
Billy Warwick—played for the New York Rangers from 1942-44, founded “Billy’s Guide” in Edmonton