Fearless prognostications in Oil country

It’s hockey time. It’s hockey time. It’s hockey time. Alright, that’s enough. After a near-miss at game seven of the Stanley Cup Finals it’s time for the Oilers to somehow match or beat the sideshow they provided last year. The team looks just a little different, but this city’s born-again Oiler-mania should be the same. The question is: How long will it last? And have you checked out Loose Bolts yet?


Czech, Czech and Check.

I’m really looking forward to the Petr Sykora, Raffi Torres and Ales Hemsky line this year. When the Oilers signed Sykora, he immediately talked about how much he was looking forward to playing with fellow Czech Hemsky. With Torres to grit things up and bang the puck loose, the two Czechs can dance around with the puck. The disappointing thing about this line? Sykora, while he can play centre, should be on the opposite wing from Hemsky with a more natural centreman in between. Sykora also said he needs to use a heavier stick to help win faceoffs, losing a little flex in his wicked shot. Maybe Coach MacT can teach Torres how to win draws in the circle. DY


Have you seen my website?

The NHL recently updated its website (nhl.com) to look more like the sites of the other major sports leagues. It's flashier, friendlier and full of the trivia and stats that make nerds like me drool. It has hot buttons for all the teams, and a pull-down menu for all the NHL's affiliate sites. But the best-slash-worst-slash-best-again section of the site would have to be the pull-down menu for NHL Player Sites. Of the roughly 800 players currently in the NHL, a whopping four players have opted to use this service supplied by the league webmasters. The most obvious inclusion would have to Sidney "The Kid" Crosby, seeing as the league wants everyone to know just how awesome he is. Slightly more confusing would be the presence of Eddie "The Eagle" Belfour and Kevin "Do I Still Have A Job?" Weekes. Are elderly back-up goalies really that big with the web-surfing public? And then there's the final member of this very exclusive club, Edmonton's own Raffi "Porn-Star Landing Strip Facial-Hair Thingy" Torres. I mean, I like Torres and all, but is this really necessary? Do I need to know his favourite colour (blue) or his boyhood idol (Wendel Clark)? Not really, I guess, but it's a ballsy move putting it up there. TB


Coincidences abound.

I just rented The Rocket the other day. See it, sports fans. Roy Dupuis nailed Maurice Richard (why not? He’s played the hockey legend three times now) and 1940s hockey looked raw and rea—we really missed out. And by we, I mean our spoiled rotten, shallow generation. Canadian actor Stephen McHattie lit up the screen with his Svengali-like caricature of legendary Habs coach Dick Irvin. McHattie’s portrayal of Irvin seemed to channel Paul Newman’s Reggie Dunlop from Slap Shot. But player-coach Reggie Dunlop was actually based on former Leafs coach John Brophy, not Dick Irvin. Here’s where it gets weird. Both Brophy and McHattie hail from Antigonish, Nova Scotia and McHattie also played Elaine’s controlling psychologist Dr Reston in Seinfeld—or, as Elaine misprounced it: “SvenJOLLY”. DY


Look ma, we’re on teh interw3b.

After blowing some sunshine their way a couple of weeks ago, the boys at the Covered in Oil blogsite were so touched they told us to “go get your own blog, losers.” So we did. Come give us a visit at www.vueweekly-inthebox.blogspot.com. As well as posting the weekly column, we’ll be talking about current events in the world of hockey, hosting a few surveys, and maybe even give some crap away, too. But try to be nice, we’re total newbs. TB


Fearless Oiler Predictions

Dave: The team will make the playoffs. Starting with game one against Calgary, at least six people in (blech) Flames jerseys will get kicked out of Rexall during each of the Battles of Alberta. One veteran Oiler will suffer a season-ending (and potentially career-ending) injury. Goals will come in buckets, but no single Oiler will be in the top 15 in scoring. At least four Oilers will be in the top 30 in scoring, though. The powerplay will strike often, but will give up too many shorthanded opportunities with forwards on the point and what’s-his-name gone. MacT will keep getting funnier in post and pre-game interviews. We’ll find out who the real fans are this season as the playoff bandwagon party becomes a regular season rollercoaster ride. DY

TB: Ok, I know that everyone in Oilerville is wondering how we’re going to do this year without old what’s-his-nuts on the blueline. Sure, Pronger played a lot of minutes, and hard ones at that. But if the Oil had gotten just four less points last season and missed the playoffs, no one would be saying boo about him leaving town. We may not be flush with Norris trophy candidates per se, but it’s not as if MacTavish is just stuffing hobos into jerseys and hoping for the best, either. If everything does start to go horribly wrong, I don’t think we’ll have to wait long for MacT to pull the trigger. We’re deep up front and in goal, and it shouldn’t take more than a month for some teams (the Leafs!) to realize that they’re just playing out the string. As for predictions—what I’m actually supposed to be doing here—watch for Lupul to shine, Smith to get meaner, Bergeron to mature and Hemsky to make goalies bleed out their eyes. TB



More Fearless Predictions From The “Experts”


“I don’t feel that they will make the playoffs. When Jason Smith and Steve Staios are our main d-men they won’t make the playoffs. And (Daniel) Tjarnqvist is on the number one pair? Tjarnqvist? They have too many question marks this year. I went to a pre-season game and the defence was mostly rookies—they were all over the place letting in goals. They looked terrible.”
Brent Oliver—local musician, promoter (Brent Oliver Presents) and President of the Green Pepper Hockey League.


“I think they’ll do good like last year. Now they have more fast players and better scorers. They’re missing Chris Pronger, though.”
“The Boy”—Kai, age 7. New hockey fan.


“Ales Hemsky will have a breakout year, scoring over 85 points and making his first all-star team. Joffrey Lupul will lead them in goals, Hemsky will lead in points and as a team they will finish in the top five in goals scored. The Battle of Alberta will be a battle for first place in the Northwest with the Flames winning by less than four points. The Oil will finish fifth or sixth and Rexall will once again be a madhouse in April and (hopefully for Oilers fans) in May as well.”
Jason Gregor hosts “Just A Game” weeknights at 9 PM on Team 1260 Edmonton Sports Radio.


“Things just wouldn’t feel right if the Oilers failed to start the season with at least one glaring, potentially team-crippling question mark—last year it was goaltending, this year it’s defence. Still, our offence looks pretty scary and Roloson is great when someone isn’t breaking his knee, so I think we’ll do all right. But a deep post-season feel pretty damn unlikely unless we pull off a trade for a veteran offensive presence on the blue line. Smith-Staios is just not going to cut it. Cautiously optimistic predictions: Oilers win all eight games against Calgary this year; Hemsky scores 40 goals.”
Chris!—Covered in Oil co-Blogger (www.coveredinoil.blogspot.com)


“I predict that the Oilers will break the Cup-loser-misses the playoffs curse and finish in eighth. No higher because I can’t see Roloson doing what he did in the playoffs over a full regular season and the numbers 4-6 d-men are real question marks. Calgary and Edmonton will play for Western Conference Championship. Belinda Stronach will date a prominent Oiler, who will then ask for a trade for personal reasons. Oh, and to the
IMPORTANT stuff ... Leafs ... finish … last ... in ... East ... win draft lottery.”
Steven Sandor—co-founder In the Box, former Oilers Zone editor, author of the Battle of Alberta (Heritage House) and current sports editor, 24 Hours in Toronto.


“With three killer lines up front, the Oilers have all the firepower they need and nothing to worry about on the attack. Awesome acquisitions in the off-season should pan out big time. Sykora and Lupul are already fitting in nicely. The big question is on the blue line. Do the Oilers have the defence they need to get to another Stanley Cup final? I say yes. Veteran D-man Jason Smith has some promising young talent to paint copper and blue. His leadership, along with a solid coaching staff, and a proven set of goalies should be enough to take us in to another strong playoff run. Bring an extra loonie to Rexall Place this year. Beer went up one dollar to $7.50 ... ouch!”
Kory Read—Sonic 102.9 news/sports guy. He won his job in a contest—and he kept it.


“What the Oilers have is confidence. The confidence that comes from just about winning the Stanley Cup. This club can score right out of the gate and fight from behind. They could be fighting for first or second place in the division. It’s going to be a great year for the Oiler fans.”
Billy Warwick—played for the New York Rangers from 1942-44, founded “Billy’s Guide” in Edmonton