Can-openers, cherry-pickers and turning right

Looks like I've been tagged by Chris! at Covered in Oil to do the hockey blogger chain-letter thingy. It's Monday, so I've got nothing better to do...


Team: Cleveland Barons ("Best Logo to Include a Map of Ohio" as voted by the logo-voting media)
Uniform number: 10, after boyhood hero and chain-smoking beer-guzzler Guy Lafleur (see earlier post)
Position: Rover
Nickname: Future Considerations, Floater, Cherry-Picker, Mr. Opportunistic, Pud (from the Bazooka Joe comics)
Dream linemates: Chris! and Pleasure Motors (Called, of course, the PMTBPC! line. This shit writes itself...)
Rounding out the PP: U-Boat 55, Spaz
Job: Getting the crucial seventh goal in an 8-1 drubbing (a la Anson Carter). Filling the water bottles.
Signature move: Waving stick in the air at opposing team's blueline, yelling "I'm open, I'm open." Mis-handling puck on breakaways. Getting off the ice when the puck goes into our zone to avoid bad plus/minus rating.
Strengths: Strong skater (in a straight line or turning left). Master of 17 different variations of the "can-opener"
Weaknesses: Shooting, passing, positioning, turning right.
Injury problems: None. Tend to avoid corners, front of net, slot, and any other place with high traffic.
Equipment: Yes.
Nemesis: Head coach, line-mates, whoever does the music at Rexall.
Who I’d face in the Stanley Cup Finals: The 17th hole at Sawgrass.
What I’d do with the Stanley Cup after our victory: Buy an engraver and add Pocklington to the end of every winning team,
Would the media love me or hate me?: Hate me on the outside, but love me on the inside, because I'd refer to Don Cherry as "a badly-upholstered know-it-all loud-mouth only-one-game-playing no-point-getting jerk", because we were all thinking it anyway.


And that is what they call that. I hereby tag Young D In The Box.