IN THE BOX

oh Yeah, my excuses

2007-12-19T00:15:00.000-07:00

I mentioned that I would have excuses ready as to why I don't post very often:

1- I'm not a "blogger" - I do this just in case I feel like posting something. It's fun.
2- Started a new job. Actually, I've started three new jobs in the past six months or so. I like the newest one the most, luckily.
3- Have you ever played internet Scrabble? Everytime I sit at the computer, that's all I want to do - not posting on the blob.
4- Others do this better. Being lazy, I'd rather occassionally post, have a few laughs and let the really good blobbers cover the Oilers.

Hockey Tradition Abandoned!

2007-12-18T23:57:00.000-07:00

First of all, I haven't posted in quite a while and the dozens (at best) of people who would stop in on the blob have probably abandoned this little site by now.

Excuses to follow after this little tidbit.

I haven't been able to attend as many games (see why when you read my excuses for not contributing the odd bit to the site) as I used to and I have missed all the home games that made it to overtime (I believe there have been five - either way, I was not at any of them).

A good friend pointed out to me that this season the Oilers have abandoned what used to be one of those hockey staples (not David) as tried and true as the Smooch Cam, the Hockey Song and beer.

I heard that the Oilers are no longer playing TNT just before OT.

THE OILERS ARE NO LONGER PLAYING T-FRIGGIN-N-FRIGGIN-T BEFORE O-FRIGGIN-T!

Normally I don't really care what music the Rexall/Northlands/Skyreach guy plays. I don't go to hockey games for music. I don't go to movie theatres for food. I don't go to pubs for martinis.
Frankly the music is incidental to the entertainment package on the ice. Trooper songs are strangely entertaining at a hockey game and nowhere else.

But AC/DC's TNT is SUPPOSED to be played just before the puck drops at overtime. It is also supposed to be played loudly.

I WILL get to the bottom of this.

Are there any fans who have noticed this? Am I the only one who finds this irritating?

Good News/ Bad News

2007-11-05T21:02:00.001-07:00

Bad News:
Did you watch the game tonight?
Good News:
I got this in the mail today.
Cool mug, eh?

Monitor Your Children's TV Viewing

2007-10-20T18:56:00.000-07:00

This afternoon, the baby (OK, as she reminds me, "not baby, Pepper" - so toddler) and I were sitting on the couch watching some TV.
We're both a bit under the weather so it hasn't been a fun couple of days for us.
Poor kid looked up at me today and threw up all over herself and the couch.
I should have been more careful as this was on the TV.
No wonder she threw up.

NOTE: The game is about to start. For good measure, I put her in bed.
Hopefully tonight's result doesn't have a similar effect on me.

Another week of crapola

2007-10-18T17:40:00.000-07:00

It's funny how only a few games can change the mood of Oiler fans. I've been listening to Stauffer's show (TEAM 1260) on the way from work to pick up the baby at daycare and Coach MacT is already on the firing line from the callers.
I personally like the job Craig MacTavish has done, I really liked him as a player. He was one of those players people respect who worked harder than the others and overachieved. A blue collar player.
That said, sometimes a coaching change for the sake of change isn't a bad thing. The team has to think differently and new ideas come in. Stauffer threw out the concept that players can "tune out" a longtime coach who expects players to be defensively responsible and to overachieve - not unlike MacT's own career.
The same thing happened in Calgary and, while I don't recommend looking south for inspiration, Sutter pulled himself out.
I think MacT's job is safe for now. A few wins in the next four or five games will help keep the dogs away - for now.

Here's this week's In The Box

In The Box is back!

2007-10-10T19:46:00.000-07:00

Check out the latest issue.
Also read this one which is probably the best Haiku music review column ever. Hats off to TB for this batch of Haikus. Especially the Loverboy review.

ANAGRAM PRE-SEASON PREDICTIONS

2007-10-03T20:25:00.000-07:00

It's not original or really ground-breaking, but I enjoyed the angriest man on the computer's Five Word Previews for the upcoming season.
Some great stuff and not nearly as full of acid as this or this classic.
This guy is angry but very sharp. One of those people who says what is on his mind. Lucky he uses a great pseudonym.
Anyway...

I thought I'd take some teams into one of the many Internet Anagram Generators and see what wisdom spews forth.
OUR DIVISION
(In order of finish)
Colorado Avalanche
COACH ANAL OVERLOAD
Calgary Flames
CAGY MARE FALLS
Vancouver Canucks
VANE VAN OCCUR SUCK
Edmonton Oilers
REMODEL NOTIONS
Minnesota Wild
STOLEN A DIM WIN

CALI DIVISION
Anaheim Ducks
IDEA SANK CHUM
San Jose Sharks
SHAKES JAR SONS
Dallas Stars
SAD ALL STARS
Los Angeles Kings
ENGAGES NO SKILLS

Phoenix Coyotes
PHONY SEX, ICE TOO

Detroit Division
Detroit Red Wings
GRIT WORST DENIED
St. Louis Blues
OUSTS BULLIES
Chicago Blackhawks
GOAL BACKWASH CHICK
Nashville Predators
AHA! SELL DRIVEN SPORT
Columbus Bluejackets
JUST MOCK USEABLE CLUB

Atlantic Div
Pittsburgh Penguins
BRIGHTEST PINUP GUNS
New York Rangers
GREYER RANKS NOW
New Jersey Devils
WEILDS JEERS, ENVY
Philadelphia Flyers
HELLISHLY AFRAID PEP
New York Islanders
SNOW NEARLY RISKED

Centre of the Universe Div
Ottawa Senators
ARENA TOASTS WOT?
Buffalo Sabres
AFFABLE BROS, US
Boston Bruins
STUBBORN IS ON
Montreal Canadiens
RANCID TEAM "EN SALON"
Toronto Maple Leafs
NAMEPLATE FOR TOOLS

Apathy Division
Tampa Bay Lightning
GAMBLING ANTIPATHY
Carolina Hurricanes
AIL, SCORCH, RUIN ARENA
Atlanta Thrashers
AHA! SLATTERN TRASH
Washington Capitals
GIANT CLAW HAS POINTS
Florida Panthers
ARENA DROPS FILTH

Holy crap, that was a lot of work for little reward. Reading lists and lists of anagrams really gets tiring.
Thank God nothing really good was on TV. But Arrested Development is on now.
I'm done.

Captain C

2007-10-01T19:55:00.000-07:00

The Oilers are set to name their new Captain/Post-game Defeat Apologist tomorrow afternoon.

Jason Smith was just named Philly's new captain and goes from following in the footsteps of Mark Messier, Doug Weight, Kevin Lowe and (snicker) Shayne Corson to following in the footsteps of Peter Forsberg, Keith Primeau, Rick Tocchet and Bobby Clarke.
They made the right choice. He's a natural leader and seems to have that "guy in charge" vibe down pat. He's like Andy Travis on WKRP. A grassroots, blue collar, no-nonsense leader.

Who should be the Oilers' captain?
Let's go through the options:

ETHAN MOREAU
Tough despite a very not-tough first name.
Injures himself in a fight with one swing; misses 75 games. That's tough.
Gets his brother (Chad and Ethan - sounds like two Yale grads on a yacht) to come in and make other players tougher by making them work out and learn Ultimate Fighting.
Tends to be the best player on the ice when the rest of the team plays worse. This year he will likely play better quite a bit.
Bad part of naming him captain: He's not on the ice as often as other forwards or defencemen. And he may hit a teammate like Moose (reportedly) did.
Odds of getting the C. 70%

STEVE STAIOS
Has been a forward (for a few moments) and a defender. Sees both sides equally.
Is involved in charities and seems to be genuinely interested in being a community-minded hockey player. With Smytty, Gator and Georges Laraque (all mainstays of Oilers charity and personal appearance work) gone, someone has to care about us lowly real people and not just how much to pay the nanny and dentist.
Was a captain. But that was in Atlanta.
Has a website.
Odds of putting the C back into Macedonia - 20%

JARRET STOLL
Touted to be a future captain since he learned to skate in Yorkton.
Wore the GOOD KIND OF C for the Kootenay Ice and a World Junior team.
Almost wore the BAD KIND OF C despite being drafted by Calgary. He refused to sign, showing taste and judgment - definite leadership qualities.
In last year of contract; making him Captain would not only help sway him to sign a deal but could also raise the price.
Still too young.
Odds of Captaincy: 4%

SHAWN HORCOFF
Is the NHLPA rep. His loyalty is to the Union. Can't make your Union Guy Captain. His heart may be Oil, but he is conspiring against The Man behind closed doors.
Is on the ice quite often. Powerplay, possible first line shifts, penalty kill.
Odds: 3%

ALES HEMSKY
Most talented player.
That's about the only reason to consider Ales. Maybe an "A" could happen.
The C may stand for Czech but not Captain - 1%

ALBERT DWAYNE ROLOSON
He's a veteran, a leader and is almost always on the ice. Yells and winges to refs anyway.
But Rule 6.1 of the Rulebook states "no playing Coach or playing Manager or goalkeeper shall be permitted to act as Captain or Alternate Captain."
NOTE: Stop calling them ASSISTANT CAPTAINS. They are ALTERNATE CAPTAINS.
That's what the "A" stands for - except in the case of Steve Downie, Todd Bertuzzi or Sean Avery where it could be interpreted to mean another A word should they ever wear one.
Odds: 0% - Stupid Rulebook

Sheldon Souray gets 1% of the remaining 2%.
The rest of the team (except for that Dick Tarnstrom) share the remaining 1%.

We'll find out tomorrow.
I want Chopper to be Captain.
C for Chopper.

Good luck to Buffalo

2007-09-17T23:03:00.001-07:00

The Buffalo Sabres and the NHL have announced they are holding their own Outdoor Hockey Game on January 1, 2008.

Good for them. Loved the game but the aura surrounding seeing Gretz, Mess and the older Habs stars stole the show. I wonder if they'll trot out old Mario.

TRIVIA TIME:

Name the current Oilers who suited up for the Heritage Classic in Edmonton.

Hint: There are nine.
Other hint: Screw you, no more hints.

Prize: you look smarter than others and it's right there in the comments for all to see. Priceless.

Just like an asshole...everyone has an....

2007-09-17T19:19:00.000-07:00

OPINION.

IN THE BOX would love some quick opinions on how you feel about this year's Oiler squad and some predictions from an Oiler-centric POV. Some of them could be included in this year's first In The Box for the 07-08 season.

Send your diatribe. Try to keep it short so we can fit it in. Three to five sentences should encapsule your own version of the truth.

We'd love to hear from some real Oiler fans who read Vue regularly.

Email to inthebox@vueweekly.com and send some good stuff. From your asshole to ours? Man, I hope The Boy doesn't read this.

Since everyone else has an opinion

2007-09-13T18:50:00.001-07:00

Don't get the partial armband.
Looks slick but a bit too much like a practice jersey.
The colours are OK. I hope that's orange and not the copper.
Isn't better than best jersey re-tools (Boston, Nashville) or as ugly as the worst (Vancouver, Long Island).
Too bad the code RBK inserted on the NHL 08 vids was cracked. I was anticipating seeing the new kit in full, live colour on Sunday.

Back to the Vault

2007-09-12T19:28:00.000-07:00

The prediction/start of season/Oilers-are-undefeated-and-at-the-top-of-the-standings-because-the-season-hasn't-started-yet issue of Vue Weekly's In The Box is coming (SEPTEMBER 27th issue).
I'm excited about writing about the Oilers (and Oil Kings too - what the Hell?) for Vue.
The column has managed to slip talk of NHL hockey into a weekly entertainment paper full of rock stars, left wingers who aren't Ales Hemsky, artists, artistes (there is a difference), restaurant reviews and the film-snobbiest reviews of movies in the city (and that's a good thing). But it always surprises me that, in this city, the culture vultures are also Oiler fans. It seems an odd match (millionaire hockey players cheered on by bohos) but that's Edmonton.
We can mix our high-and-low brow. It's hockey and the art gallery. Wine and rye/Cokes. Tom Robbins and Stompin' Tom.
Mixing the hipster sensibility and Oiler news is a delicate balance but its much more fun to write.

Anyway, here's last year's Oiler season predictionsand how they played out. It was an interesting mix of rose-coloured glasses and some real bad vibes.

Excerpted from last year:
Fearless Oiler Predictions

Dave (ME!!!!): The team will make the playoffs.
NOPE.
Starting with game one against Calgary, at least six people in (blech) Flames jerseys will get kicked out of Rexall during each of the Battles of Alberta.
PRETTY CLOSE.
One veteran Oiler will suffer a season-ending (and potentially career-ending) injury.
Ethan Moreau - sucks to be right.
Goals will come in buckets,
Make that vomit or stomach lining
but no single Oiler will be in the top 15 in scoring.
Right again!
At least four Oilers will be in the top 30 in scoring, though.
Top Oiler scorer (Sykora - 110th place) Smytty finished 51st but he doesn't count.
The powerplay will strike often, but will give up too many shorthanded opportunities with forwards on the point and what’s-his-name gone.
The Oilers only allowed four shorties - second best in the league. Considering that they had the fourth worst PP% other teams got a lot of chances with two full minutes to score. Wrong again.
MacT will keep getting funnier in post and pre-game interviews.
He is funny. March and April didn't give him much to laugh about though.
We’ll find out who the real fans are this season as the playoff bandwagon party becomes a regular season rollercoaster ride. DY

TB: Ok, I know that everyone in Oilerville is wondering how we’re going to do this year without old what’s-his-nuts on the blueline. Sure, Pronger played a lot of minutes, and hard ones at that. But if the Oil had gotten just four less points last season and missed the playoffs, no one would be saying boo about him leaving town. We may not be flush with Norris trophy candidates per se, but it’s not as if MacTavish is just stuffing hobos into jerseys and hoping for the best, either.
That didn't happen until February or so. Although he played surprisingly well, Mathieu Roy has a hobo beard. If any hobos had shown up at Kevin Lowe's door and could skate backwards, they would have played by March after the injuries.
If everything does start to go horribly wrong, I don’t think we’ll have to wait long for MacT to pull the trigger.
Or take sleeping pills?
We’re deep up front
on paper we wereand
in goal, and it shouldn’t take more than a month for some teams (the Leafs!) to realize that they’re just playing out the string. As for predictions—what I’m actually supposed to be doing here—watch for Lupul to shine,
the pine - during powerplays anyway
Smith to get meaner, Bergeron to mature
all the way to Long Island
and Hemsky to make goalies bleed out their eyes. TB

More Fearless Predictions From The “Experts”

“I don’t feel that they will make the playoffs. When Jason Smith and Steve Staios are our main d-men they won’t make the playoffs. And (Daniel) Tjarnqvist is on the number one pair? Tjarnqvist? They have too many question marks this year. I went to a pre-season game and the defence was mostly rookies—they were all over the place letting in goals. They looked terrible.”
Brent Oliver—local musician, promoter (Brent Oliver Presents) and President of the Green Pepper Hockey League.

Brent, dirty stinking musician type that he is, nailed it. He gets another go this year.

“I think they’ll do good like last year. Now they have more fast players and better scorers. They’re missing Chris Pronger, though.”
“The Boy”—Kai, age 7. New hockey fan.

He's 8 now. Must be weird to think of the last Oiler Stanley Cup as ancient history. Kind of like how the Leafs were revered when I was 8.

“Ales Hemsky will have a breakout year, scoring over 85 points
53.. but he did miss 18 games - and was an Oiler in February, March and April. That doesn't help
and making his first all-star team. Joffrey Lupul will lead them in goals, Hemsky will lead in points
nope and nope - I don't know what Lupul's goals were but I hope he realizes them in Philly - boy, did he get a rough ride and as a team they will finish in the top five in goals scored.
...or the bottom. Count from the bottom and he's right.
The Battle of Alberta will be a battle for first place in the Northwest with the Flames winning by less than four points. The Oil will finish fifth or sixth and Rexall will once again be a madhouse in April and (hopefully for Oilers fans) in May as well.”
Jason Gregor hosts “Just A Game” weeknights at 9 PM on Team 1260 Edmonton Sports Radio.

“Things just wouldn’t feel right if the Oilers failed to start the season with at least one glaring, potentially team-crippling question mark—last year it was goaltending, this year it’s defence. Still, our offence looks pretty scary
it did, but not in the scary-to-opponents way
and Roloson is great when someone isn’t breaking his knee, so I think we’ll do all right. But a deep post-season feel pretty damn unlikely unless we pull off a trade for a veteran offensive presence on the blue line.
We got one - but not until July
Smith-Staios is just not going to cut it. Cautiously optimistic predictions: Oilers win all eight games against Calgary this year; Hemsky scores 40 goals.”
Oooops. Cautiously optimistic indeed.
Chris!—Covered in Oil co-Blogger (www.coveredinoil.blogspot.com)

“I predict that the Oilers will break the Cup-loser-misses the playoffs curse and finish in eighth. No higher because I can’t see Roloson doing what he did in the playoffs over a full regular season and the numbers 4-6 d-men are real question marks. Calgary and Edmonton will play for Western Conference Championship. Belinda Stronach will date a prominent Oiler, who will then ask for a trade for personal reasons.
That would have been fun....something other than hockey...anyone see her with Smytty?
Oh, and to the IMPORTANT stuff ... Leafs ... finish … last ... in ... East ... win draft lottery.”
Close but no draft lottery
Steven Sandor—co-founder In the Box, former Oilers Zone editor, author of the Battle of Alberta (Heritage House) and current sports editor, 24 Hours in Toronto.

“With three killer lines up front, the Oilers have all the firepower they need and nothing to worry about on the attack.
Except reality kicking in....
Awesome acquisitions in the off-season should pan out big time. Sykora and Lupul are already fitting in nicely.
Remember this was just after pre-season....
The big question is on the blue line. Do the Oilers have the defence they need to get to another Stanley Cup final? I say yes.
Why couldn't you have been right? It's Kory Read's fault. Kory Read's fault!
Veteran D-man Jason Smith has some promising young talent to paint copper and blue.
they looked more black and blue last season - nice analogy though
His leadership, along with a solid coaching staff, and a proven set of goalies should be enough to take us in to another strong playoff run. Bring an extra loonie to Rexall Place this year. Beer went up one dollar to $7.50 ... ouch!”
Kory Read—Sonic 102.9 news/sports guy. He won his job in a contest—and he kept it.

“What the Oilers have is confidence. The confidence that comes from just about winning the Stanley Cup. This club can score right out of the gate and fight from behind. They could be fighting for first or second place in the division. It’s going to be a great year for the Oiler fans.”
I like Billy. He's seen more hockey seasons and hockey games in real life than I've seen on PS2.
Billy Warwick—played for the New York Rangers from 1942-44, founded “Billy’s Guide” in Edmonton

Just some of my own pre-season

2007-09-12T19:00:00.000-07:00

It's starting to kick in. I think after the highs of the '06 playoff run and the short off-season with no shortage of excitement (Pronger!) and an interesting first half of the season and one of the most dreadful final 30 games in Oiler history I quite enjoyed thinking only occasionally about NHL hockey.
My damn PS2 broke down as well and I couldn't even play online against fat kids and shut-ins.

A few notes to get ready for the first In The Box of the season (September 27th issue, BTW).

-Lines - Everyone is wondering what rookie or upstart will jump into the second line RW position vacated by Poor Pisani - the man who used all his luck up in playoffs. That line is supposed to be Stoll and likely Torres - two muckers and shooters - so Nilsson or Gagner or, at the other end of the spectrum, Sanderson have pretty tough company. I think Nilsson could do the most as the second liner.

-The Joey Moss Cup - I might go check this inter-squad scrimmage out. The lure of seeing the new jerseys (god, they better not suck) is tantalizing.
I remember attending the rally at City Hall when the Oilers unveiled their Copper and Blue jersey designs and liked the kit.
I was also one of the first people in the city to parade the Todd-McFarlane jersey down Whyte Avenue on the morning the jerseys were sent to stores. The pub I worked at finagled an early delivery of the jerseys and I ordered one.
Then I recycled it to my brother as a Christmas present. I like hockey jerseys but rarely wear them.
He's already gotten three jerseys. I should get him one of the new ones I suppose.

3- Go Canada! Flipping channels, I notice that the Women's World Cup (Canada 1, Norway 0 right now) is on.

That's it for now. A little dry. No style; mostly substance. More to come as I get warmed up.

Worst "Hiatus Over" Ever - Indeed

2007-09-06T20:01:00.000-07:00

So I got a little overexcited and figured it was time for blogging again. The column is on hiatus but soon to be back up again.
I started a new job and have also become more responsible for the kids than before.
But Oiler-itis is starting its annoying little itch and compulsion to plan my week around something as important as a game once again.

Some quick hits on the summer's action:
1- NEW LINEUP - Seems like a promising cast of characters. Souray will no doubt make us all curse the odd defensive flub - the difference being he'll be sworn at in English now. It might sound different coming from riggers out of Leduc or Cold Lake than Montrealers.
Pitkanen could be good but seems pretty enigmatic.
Sanderson is our new Dvorak. Fast and will fill different roles.
Penner has an odd mix of hands and size and seems like a character guy as well.

2- Smith and Smyth gone. With these two building blocks of the team out the team will truly be starting anew. I'm curious to find out how the Oilers Community Foundation will replace these community-minded players. With Smith, Smyth and (the season previous) Laraque gone, personal appearances and charitable endeavours in this town will need some more spark from more than just Ethan Moreau and Steve Staios.

3- New jerseys. Please. Understated and classy. No piping. No frigging piping. No municipal or provincial flags.

4- Pisani. Hard luck for Fernando. Screw all the criticisms over his raise last year. He provided quiet leadership and the playoff run was something to remember. Last year he had health issues with his newborn baby and struggled through that. Now we discover he has colitis. This may explain the season he had last year and the pained, white-as-a-sheet look on his face all the time. He was in severe stomach pain.

5- Rivals. We now hate Anaheim (Stanley Cup, "Burkie"'s whining, Pronger), Calgary (duh), Colorado (division rivals and Smytty) and Vancouver (making the playoffs in our place again). Who will be added to the list this year?

Nice to be back.
More to come soon.

HIATUS OVER!!!

2007-06-07T20:36:00.000-07:00

To all fifteen regular readers of IN THE BOX - THE BLOG.

Our self-imposed hiatus from the blog is over. The Stanley Cup now has DUCK ready to be etched on it - better than MIGHTY DUCK - and the next season is ready to start.
Frankly, since the last half-hearted blog entry in early April there wasn't enough Oiler-related news to go into without bitterness or kicking of dead horses.
The end of the regular season couldn't end quickly enough and I'm pretty excited about this summer.

Let it begin. Trade at least one of the three first-round draft picks, dump some baggage, add some new faces, surprise us a little with a blockbuster trade and we can move on.

On to June 22nd.

It's official. Smytty traded to Islanders

2007-04-06T23:07:00.000-07:00

I saw it on my PS2.
And some guy (14-year old kid maybe?) scored on my Oilers twice with Ryan Smyth in Islanders gear and beat me 8-2 online.
It's real.

Until a day or so ago, I could still see Ryan Smyth in Oiler colours (I guess he still is - considering the colour scheme in Long Island) while playing online PS2 EA Sports Hockey.
I could pretend the trade was not made and see Smytty score a goal or two with his Oilers. The online version of the game has a set roster that can't be changed or updated so you're stuck with EA Sports' best guess as to rosters and lines as of the beginning of the year and the game launch.

Well, at long last, EA Sports has updated NHL rosters for nerds such as myself who play online hockey late at night. My excuse: kids are in bed, wife's at work. I can't be anywhere else. Might as well get my ass kicked online a few times.

Up until the rosters were updated, Ryan and MAB were still Oilers.
But Dick Tarnstrom was still around. So was Rem Murray.

A few interesting notes with the updated Oiler roster:
- Petr Sykora is on the fourth line. He is now wearing #71. At the beginning of the year he was wearing Jari Kurri's retired #17. It didn't look or feel right.
- Denis Grebeshkov is on the first d-pairing with Jason Smith. He is also really fast and has a great shot.
- Raffi Torres is on the default first scoring line with Horcoff and Hemsky.
- Robert Nilsson is on the team. He's fast, has a decent shot and gets his ass knocked to the ice really easily.
- Laddy Smid and Norway's own Patrick Thoresen aren't on the team. I heard that EA Sports can't add players until they are officially NHLPA members by playing an NHL game. Neither player had yet seen NHL ice when NHL 07 was unveiled.
- Brad Winchester is on the roster when you download it, but didn't make the cut for the default online starting roster. Even in the virtual world, the pixellated Craig MacT still scratches the fake Winchester.
- Tjarnqvist is wearing #33 which has been worn in the past by Jiri Dopita and Marty McSorley (twice).
- Grebeshkov is wearing Kevin Lowe's #4. No other Oiler player has ever worn that number.
-I still suck but I can't stop playing. I'd probably win more if I used Nashville or Colorado like everyone else (they're that good in the virtual EA world) but, hey, I'm an Oilers fan.

"I Don't Wanna Play in Edmonton"

2007-04-06T19:52:00.000-07:00

This whole "(Lauren) Pronger wanted out of Edmonton, no one wants to play in Edmonton" debate is getting pretty tiresome.
This city, more than most, has the biggest insecurity complex I've seen. We've got one major sports franchise that had some remarkable and amazing years and anyone who grew up in this city knows that most people around the world over 30 connects the city of Edmonton with the dynasty Oilers.
It gives us a common hook to hang our civic pride on.
People in Edmonton that I grew up with had this weird love/hate thing with our city.
Most of them would rather live in Detroit or Spokane (probably because early cable TV brought those cities closer to home than they should be) or wanted to be Torontonians or Vancouverites.
But we could always brag about our hockey team when we wanted to justify to the big-shot urbanites from the rest of the country why we didn't get off our asses and leave.
The city has far more loyalty and pride now luckily. People in this city seem to have a newfound pride in the city they were born in or grew up in. Probably because most of the "lucky" hometowners who shot off to Hogtown/Montreal/Vancouver/even Calgary for better jobs, more glitz, etc. found the life too expensive and came back.
We don't really have a hockey team to brag about anymore. At least not this year. We got a taste of the 80s arrogance last year and we all wanted it back for good.

Anyway, why do Edmontonians get so bent out of shape when a Pronger/Peca/Spacek/other asks to leave/signs a contract with another team?
So an NHL player doesn't share our love for this city and wants out or doesn't want in? Big deal.
Not every player will. Most of the other NHL cities seem like a lot more fun, don't they (Nashville, Columbus, Minneapolis aside)?

Then this little ESPN survey comes out and only one player picks Edmonton as the team he'd rather get traded to and other perceived slags are included in the same survey.
Big deal.

An NHL player will play for the team that offers him the most money or the best contract (ie. usually the most money). They really don't care what city they are in.

Ryan Smyth did not want a "hometown discount." Fair enough. Unfortunately for Edmonton and unlike every NHL team in the United States save Detroit, Minnesota and Boston (and the New York teams to a smaller extent) this city actually has players in the NHL that call Edmonton a hometown. A smaller contract in Nashville is chosen because it was the best contract available or for reasons other than the total at the bottom (length of contract, bonuses) but I don't think any contract offered to a player in Nashville will ever be laughed off or considered a hometown-discounted contract. They don't make hockey players in Nashville. Or Florida. Or California. Or Colorado. Or Dallas. Or Atlanta. You get the picture.

The bad news?
Today's post-CBA NHL is going to be more like the NFL insofar as player movement will be found in free agent contract signings over trades. The younger target ages for full free agency and the subtleties of working under caps or budget caps will see NHL GMs using free agency pickups more and more often and trades will happen just that much less.
A traded player has to play for you (barring the odd player who sits out or demands an immediate trade). A signed player has to choose to play for you.
That means that wooing players will be of a new importance. GMs, team presidents, team alumni and current players will all be partners in making your team more attractive than the team down the road. Offering more money will help too.

Edmonton has crappy travel needs, tough opponents, unpleasant winters, high expectations from fans and an old-boy's-club mentality in the office that could be tough to crack through.
Edmonton also has passionate fans who care, community support and one of hockey's truly great legacies.

Here's my list of the type of player who would likely not play in Edmonton, assuming he had a choice and an equivalent offer from another team was on the table; in other words, money will not be the issue. I'm using nothing more than blanket statements, assumptions and stereotypes.

-Young guys who grew up in small town Canada. As far as Edmonton goes, been there - done that. I want to see LA. Hell, even Florida would be great.

-Guys who want to win. Today's average NHL player hitting some level of free agency is usually around 28 or 29 years old. That means he was born in the late 70s or early 80s. The dynasty Oiler teams were a memory before this crop of players hit puberty. When I grew up, I heard that the Leafs were really good once but I never really saw it. We know how great our Oilers were; kids today have to read about it. This new generation grew up seeing Dallas, Colorado, Detroit, New Jersey and a few other teams succeed over and over again. Hockey players are competitive. They want to be part of a winning team as much as fans want to cheer for one.

-Guys who want to play, go home and not be noticed, cheered or jeered. This city ranks with Montreal and Toronto as one of the league's pressure cookers for NHL players. Even the casual fan knows what you look like and if you won last Tuesday. In most of the American rinks, the football players, baseball players, actors, newscasters, basketball players, college athletes, senators, weathermen and local downtown crazies are more well-known than the NHL players.
Not everyone wants to be recognized in the pisser. Most hockey players tend to be shy and humble and approach the job with some work ethic. They don't like the spotlight, don't interview very well and love the game more than the glitz. Ironically enough, those that do love the attention want it on a bigger stage than Edmonton would provide anyway. I imagine Jeremy Roenick would much rather be recognized the A-list in LA than everyone in greater Edmonchuck.

So what kind of player would happily sign (and stay) in Edmonton?

-Guys who love hockey as much as we do. Ryan Smyth was one of those. If he didn't get signed to a pro contract back in 94, he'd be a season ticket holding, beer swilling, late night rec hockey playing, face painting hockey dad rig pig just like the kind you see in the stands. He's gone now.

-Euros. Janne Niinimaa loved Edmonton. Petr Sykora loves Edmonton. Hemsky says he loves Edmonton. To a guy from across the pond (usually from Finland, Sweden, Russia) the weather in Edmonton ain't that bad and the money is just as good no matter what city the cheque is cashed in. And they're in the NHL and in North America. I went to Europe once in my life. I wanted to go and didn't care what city I was in as long as I could see another part of the world. A kid from Pardubice signs in Edmonton but he is in North America and rich. He gets to see California. He gets to travel to Florida and New York. He's busy enough during the season that leisure time is sparing anyway and they travel for at least half of the year. During off-season, he can go anywhere he wants.

-Family guys. I'm nearly a two-year member of the New Dad club. And I got an earlier start with a stepson. Instant family. Nightclubs, nightlife, glamour and other matter little compared to knowing that I'm in a nice, safe neighbourhood, the schools are decent and the future looks great. This is still a great place to raise a family, stabbings aside. Steve Staios and Ethan Moreau and Fernando Pisani all preach the gospel of the value of living in this city with their families. I suspect Ryan Smyth will live here this summer too. (Someone should see if a "for sale" sign has hit or hits the front lawn, especially after July 1st.) Find those classy veteran players and get them to see the attractiveness of signing in Edmonton and finding roots.

Where the hell was I?
Oh yeah. Every team in the league loses players.
Stop taking it so damn seriously just because some millionaire punk would rather play somewhere else.
Love your city and don't look to others to validate your choice of a hometown.

Raised On Oil

2007-03-27T23:49:00.000-07:00

Since the day-to-day news on the Oilers hasn't been that much fun lately, I've taken some time to reflect on what it means to be an Oiler fan and even what it means to be a hockey fan in general.
This will be a first part of a few recollections. Better to retreat into memory than sit through this.

Growing up in Edmonton it really is part of the landscape to cheer on the Oilers. My parents were also sports fans and active in sports (Dad played baseball - my mother played sports growing up and was even a baseball umpire for awhile) but not sports "fanatics". Hell, they even met for the first time at a work curling bonspiel - how much more Western Canadian can you get?
We had Grey Cup parties and would watch the odd game on TV and most playoff games.
Back then, you could see a few games on TV on HNIC or a handful of games on ITV or whatever local carrier would carry the games.

Anyway.....
I liked hockey (played for about half a year, had a bad leg and had to quit) and cheered the Oilers. I remember Gretz's 50th goal in 39 games and wishing I joined the throngs downtown during the 80's dynasty Cup wins. I remember where I was when I heard on the radio that Gretzky was sold/traded (back shop of the warehouse I worked at on the west end) and got to break the story to the salesmen out front. I liked Linseman, Tikkanen and Grant Fuhr the best (two shit disturbers and a goalie from Spruce Grove - my hometown) and I think I had an Oilers shirt or two. I saw only about half a dozen games live in the 80s and was awed by the speed of the game and the crowds.
As fans go, I was about a five out of ten. A casual observer and impressed by what was obviously the best show on ice right here in our little town.

Then I went to college (Broadcasting - it seemed like fun) in Lethbridge in 1990. Suddenly, as one of few Northern Albertan/Edmontonian/Oiler fans in a hotbed of Flames fans, I had to re-discover the home team.
Because of my competitive nature, the casual observer became the die-hard Oilers fan. I had to keep up. Most of the guys in class were sports nerds and wanted to be the next Darren Dutchyshen (or whatever knucklehead Calgary had in his place). Because of competitiveness, I went from quietly listening to the stats and info fly across the bar tables to studying hard, subscribing to Hockey News and getting to the point that I could not only keep up with the banter, but lead it. Screw you, sports nerds.
The 1991 playoff series between Edmonton and Calgary was probably the best playoff series that I can recall. It should have been the Stanley Cup Final, not the first round of the playoffs. It had some of the hardest hitting, best scoring and highest intensity of hockey that I remember.
The series went to Game Seven and Overtime.
In a basement in Lethbridge surrounded by the dirty Flames die-hard fans it was hard to suppress my joy when Tikk scored in OT.
Then, shortly after, hardcore Flames fan Neil Fraser (we were at his folks' place) turned up with his autographed Esa Tikkanen hockey stick and threw it at my feet. He said he'd rather I had it as he couldn't keep it in his home without wanting to burn it. And he couldn't burn any piece of hockey memorabilia without feeling guilty.

Then I went home. About a half hour after I retired to bed, the phone rang. Neil called. He said he felt guilty. Not about giving me the autographed stick, but about egging and soaping my car.
It was getting cold and he offered to help clean my rusty old Celica off as he was worried about the eggs and soap freezing to the car overnight.
Good times.

Latest In The Box

2007-03-15T20:20:00.000-07:00

Just working on watching the game here at home.

Kevin Quinn summed up the Oiler situation quite accurately while describing the play.

"Young and Greene on the blueline for the Oilers."
That about sums it up.

Here's the newest "In The Box".

ME!

2007-03-14T00:02:00.000-07:00

Can't talk about the Oilers right now.
Gonna talk about ME.

Nice to have a really, really common name.
But I'm not on "the list" yet. What do I have to do? Be a wrestler or a mad bomber or a bishop?

Nope. I imagine I probably won't be Wikipedia material. Oh well.

I Say It's My Birthday.

2007-03-05T19:13:00.000-07:00

In my life I've seen all five Oiler Stanley Cups and I've seen the Eskimos miss the playoffs twice. This year and the year that I was Zero.
Happy 36th birthday to me.

I'm not dead yet.....

2007-03-01T21:54:00.000-07:00

Brad Isbister played his third game of the season tonight. He even got a goal a few days ago.

Bill Masterton trophy candidate, no?
No.

Dirty Agents. No Wonder Tom Cruise Played One....

2007-03-01T20:13:00.000-07:00

I will try to avoid taking the easy way out and pointing the finger too squarely in a direction that I'm not entirely sure it should be pointed, but the more I think over this Lowe/Smyth deal, the more I look at Don Meehan and wonder if Ryan Smyth, the person, is really a priority for the super-agent.

Anyone who saw how torn up Smytty was at the airport yesterday knows that they saw a player truly sad to be leaving the town and team he loved.
Anyone who has seen Ryan Smyth conduct interviews or do public appearances over the years also knows he's a shitty actor.
There were real teardrops and he left a pretty classy list of people to thank on the way out.
Smytty was careful not to leave anyone out and capped his list of thank-yous with Joey Moss - THE REAL heart and soul of the Oilers - especially now.

"There is no crying in the white zone." Apparently not.

Those were not the tears of someone who feels he stood up for himself in negotiations and made a point by not agreeing to a deal. While Ryan Smyth is the client and uber-agent Don Meehan the employee, I'm sure that Meehan (who counselled Mike Peca to sit out a year of hockey once upon a time) was trusted to do the best for Smyth.

Did he? We'll see. We are just a year and a half or so into a brand new CBA and the first big batch of post-CBA contracts are going to be signed this summer. Rumours were out there that fellow NHLPA brethren were also a third party in this showcase deal urging Smyth not to settle too low. Another hometown discount for a 30-goal scorer, All-Star, Olympian and class act would be disastrous for the bevy of free agents also shilling for big contracts come July.
How many of those FA's are also Meehan players? I'll have to dig that one up. Anyone?

Smyth's contract would have been one of the contracts that other players, other agents and Don Meehan himself would use to set the bar for July's offer sheets. And arbitrators will also see that deal. Do you think that there wasn't some pressure from both the PA and other Meehan clients to avoid lowering the bar?

It seems that Meehan was looking to July as the time to really cash in and felt that negotiating with just Kevin Lowe wouldn't be good enough. The open market will likely help Meehan make Smytty more money. And it will help Meehan make even more money for the rest of his stable.

Come July, we'll see if Meehan's decision (on behalf of his client, I'm sure) to refuse Kevin Lowe's generous-but-not-outrageous offer pays off for Ryan Smyth. He could cash in come July. Hopefully the team that gains Ryan Smyth appreciates what they get.
Some so-called hockey markets out there may not have the city-wide appreciation for a guy who grew up cheering for the same team that the fans love. Charities in that city will find a great contributor as well. I hope they appreciate that too.

Then again, he may be back here once again. I wonder if a few months away will find Smytty revitalized or cynical?

Creepy-looking, isn't it?

2007-03-01T19:03:00.000-07:00

I still never thought I would see Smytty in any uniform other than the Oilers uniform or one with a Maple Leaf on it. At least the colour scheme is close enough not to burn the eyes.

A Maple Leaf surrounded by Red, not Blue.

Candor

2007-03-01T18:53:00.000-07:00

Found a link to this article on the HF Board. Found it a refreshing insight into the goings-on of an NHL GM.
Part of the reason I've always found trade deadline time fascinating is trying to imagine the strategies and the conversations that go on between these 30 guys who are all trying to build, rebuild, reboot or fix their teams.

Brian Burke's trade diary is a refreshing peek into some deals that got done and some that stalled on the line.

I especially enjoyed "talk to Florida assistant GM Randy Sexton about Todd Bertuzzi, and he tells me "the guy we like is Perry." I offer him profanity. If you are offended by profanity, it's difficult to make a trade in the NHL."
Funny guy, Burke.

It was odd to see how forthcoming he was on discussing names of current players on his team that he either defended from being traded or considered letting go.

Quite a neat bit.
I'd be curious to know from readers if they've seen a more in-depth "anatomy of a trade" article that has ever been done where an NHL GM has gone through the steps involved in pulling the trigger on a deal and everything from the scouting to the brainstorming to how the idea is presented to other GMs.

And so it goes.....

2007-03-01T18:34:00.000-07:00

One period into Ryan Smyth's first game of his post-Oiler career, he has already assisted on a Mike Sillinger goal for the Islanders.

Odd how Ryan Smyth, one of the few players to stay on the team that drafted him for 12 seasons, teams up with Mike Sillinger, who has played for 12 different teams in his career for his non-Oiler NHL point.

The Islanders traded for a player who was almost considered "an Oiler for life" (until this season) and kept perennial trade-day headline Sillinger.

Could this be any tougher right now?

2007-02-24T17:19:00.000-07:00

...Now what?
I like Kevin Lowe. I've been impressed with how well he has handled retiring from hockey, learning how to run a team and then taking the reins of what is likely the toughest team to steer in the NHL. That's just behind the pressure cookers of Montreal and Toronto, I'm sure.
He has made some great deals (getting Pronger last year) and had some challenges (Pronger asking to leave with the ink still drying on a six-year deal). He had to manage a small-market team that simply couldn't afford to keep any great players.
This year is another challenge as the new CBA and salary cap system is now into its second full year and deals are becoming harder to make.

Right now, Lowe's team has put him in a tough spot: They're still a small stretch away from grabbing one last playoff spot and not out of it by any means. But they are still a distance away. Making the playoffs will require effort, luck and timing.
So, decision and deals made right now will either increase the team's odds of seeing post-season play or scuttle it. Toughie.

Pick an option:
1- Make a couple deals. It is trade deadline time after all and as far as I can see, it's the most exciting time to be a GM. And Lowe has usually been a player at deadline time. I can't imagine he will do little or nothing. He's a competitor. Deadline day is a big day for GMs to show their stuff and make a difference. I can't picture Lowe just sitting on his hands and not getting the same hands dirty.
He can dump some salaries (Sykora, Markkanen) to make room for contract negotiations (free agents in July and Smytty) and maybe make a couple deals to change the dressing room. On every team, there are always leaders, followers and troublemakers. We don't know where every Oiler player fits, but the coaches do. This is also a time to shape the dressing room and address any personnel-ity issues.

2- Gut the team. Dead weight is out. Prospects and picks are in. Hope that the remaining core of the team has enough tools to continue with the momentum built in the last few days and a playoff run is still in the cards.

3- Do nothing. Hope that Smytty can be resigned - maybe he knows it will already - and work with what the team already has. Make the deals after the season is done and find other GMs, under less pressure, will give more up. Sign some free agents.

The fact that the team will be about 10 points out at worst or as close as three points out by Tuesday changes everything. Then, right after deadline day, the Oilers face Minnesota and Calgary at home. Those games will be even more important than this road trip has been.

So, we know Lowe's options. What would Dave do? Here's my plan. Obviously I don't have 29 other GMs on the phone or Don Meehan so a lot of assumptions are being made.

1- Ryan Smyth situation. Sign a deal. The only way you could call a Ryan Smyth deal an overpayment would be if no other GM would do it. If Edmonton has to pay Smytty $5.5 million a season because other teams are willing to do the same, take it. If the rest of the league considers Smyth worth that much, it's not like the Oilers will be stuck with that contract. He can be traded later on if it seems too heavy a commitment. A signed Ryan Smyth (especially with a long-ish term contract) has more trade value than a Ryan Smyth without a contract.

2- Trade Jussi. I suggest Montreal or Tampa - two teams who are in or near the playoffs and need a decent backup goalie. Get a third round pick and a middling prospect. Then bring up one of the young goalies and let them play a few games in the playoff run. This experience will pay off later on.

3- Trade Sykora. This frees up money for the Smytty Kitty and will likely net a decent return. I'm guessing that Dallas, Detroit or even Jersey or Carolina may bite, although New Jersey are up to their nads in cap spend already and would have to unload salary to fit anyone in. Carolina just added Anson Carter and Jim Rutherford has proven that loading up before playoffs has paid off for him. Get a young player in return. Someone cheaper and someone to build with.

4- Trade Winchester. Because he obviously isn't playing. Get a fourth/fifth round pick and/or another equivalent player that Lowe and MacT don't hate. A lateral move at best.

With the exception of the Sykora deal, none of these decisions would do too much to distinguish the Oilers as either outright buyers or sellers. There really is no reason that the Oilers couldn't go on a competitive run without Sykora or Markkanen. The play of Pouliot, Thoresen and Reasoner especially (the rookies and character players) has shown that energy and determination will not be missing. Even Smid is showing new fire and determination.

These deals should not slow the little flash of progress we've seen on this road trip, yet will help set things up for the off-season and next year.

Oh. And once 1:01 PM has come around on Tuesday, go sneak off with Moose and crack open a few beers before the game.

Another Week...Another In The Box

2007-02-22T20:31:00.000-07:00

Read up.

Bergeron = Err(or) Be Gon(e)

2007-02-18T10:42:00.000-07:00

The trades are starting to heat up.
Maligned scapegoat du jour Marc-Andre Bergeron, an undrafted free agent, has been traded to the Islanders for Russian reverse-defector Denis Grebeshkov.
I wonder if Garth Snow had much to do with it or if he just rubber-stamped the deal and went back to sleep in the GM's comfy chair? I haven't been following that shitshow of an NHL office since that crazy-ass move on a crazy-ass team (retiring a goalie and naming him GM).

Grebeshkov is currently playing with two-time Oiler Igor Ulanov, Oiler-for-a-millisecond Alexei Mikhnov and another player who appeared twice with Edmonton - Brett Hauer - in Yaroslavl Lokomotiv. He chose to play there rather than bounce up and down in the minors with the Islanders.Will he appear with the Oilers this year? With the Russian transfer system so goofy, we'll have to wait and see. We should know soon.

Grebeshkov was drafted in the 2002 cattle call 18th overall with the LA Kings' first pick. This was the same draft that the Oilers drafted Jarret Stoll and Matt Greene. The Oilers actually picked Jesse Niinimaki two picks ahead of LA's choice of Grebeshkov with the 16th pick.
The 2002 draft was also the year that Anaheim selected Joffrey Lupul.
Grebeshkov was the 18th pick and the 6th defenceman picked that year, behind blueliners like Jay Bouwmeester and Joni Pitkanen (both coveted by Oilers fans and possibly already courted unsuccessfully by Kevin Lowe - might as well head further down the list).

The Russian should be an improvement on Bergeron - at some point. He is 22 and is said to have great puck skills and some aggression.

So...that's the facts. My opinion? I'm sure everyone is waiting for this. You never get opinions in the Oilogosphere, do you.

I'll miss Bergeron's shot. You know, the one that worked. The shot he takes from just outside the faceoff circle. That one seemed to be struck from the right distance to allow the puck to rise to a height just under the crossbar. If he shot from the point, the puck was usually too high if it made it to the net or a defender or blocking forward would be lucky enough to catch it on a shin before it would make it to the net at all.

I'll miss the fact that a guy who was overlooked in his draft year managed to distinguish himself enough to be considered a real NHL player. I love the underdog.

I'll miss having a speedy player on the team. The Oilers are just a little slower as a team right now. Toby Petersen is now the de facto speedster.

The Oilers also gave up a bargain basement player. His low-ish salary, combined with the fact that he is capable of scoring made him useful. The depth chart, unfortunately, required the team to overuse Bergeron and more ice time just unmasked his faults. When he started with the team, he provided some energy, some speed, a decent shot and one really kick-ass open ice hit on Brenden Morrow. Bergy also will require all those minutes replaced by someone. I imagine Mathieu Roy will fill in on the roster, but who will be on the powerplay? More Petersen?

I will not miss his passes to no one or his passes to the opponents or the fact that he had speed to spare but wouldn't use it when it was needed. Didn't seem to have the judgment to come with the speed.

This trade seems like it could be the first step in Kevin Lowe's series of deals Version 2007. Lowe is reported to be meeting with Don Meehan today and then flying to Naples, Florida for a round of GM meetings.
I imagine that deals have been brewing for awhile and the GMs are waiting to see who moves first. The big deal between Nashville and Philly for Peter (Foppa) Forsberg may have cracked the dam a bit. In between golf games and Everglades tours, I'm sure a lot of kicked tires could result in deals down in FLA.

We'll see what happens next. The Ryan Smyth contract is probably holding up other decisions. The Oilers losing two of three road games so far is probably forcing some decisions.

NOTE: While researching Grebeshkov's numbers in Yaroslavl, I noticed that Mikhnov has three goals in four games so far.

NOTE 2: 8 of 51 respondents to our poll (who will be the first Oiler traded?) selected Bergeron. Time for a new one....

Newest Issue of In The Box

2007-02-15T23:34:00.000-07:00

Enjoy.

Nothing to do with hockey...

2007-02-13T01:36:00.000-07:00

a

But pretty damn hilarious. Thanks to mi amigo TB for pointing this out.

Unless, of course, this is really Glen Wesley with sunglasses.

ANOTHER WEEK....ANOTHER COLUMN

2007-02-08T22:18:00.000-07:00

Enjoy this week's latest issue of Vue Weekly, featuring everyone's favourite Oiler column found in an entertainment paper - In The Box.
A little bit of excuses for some maligned Oilers are featured this week.
As well, an interesting stat about the Oilers and Canucks that I think none of the "big guys" found.
Next week, maybe TB and I will temper the apologies with some tough criticism.

Later.

Two-Headed Monster Slays Oil

2007-02-07T12:27:00.000-07:00

Crap. After a pretty good first period, those dirty Swedes owned us. Daniel netted 3 goals and 2 assists, while Henrik got 4 helpers. And Torres. Sweet Christ, what the hell was he thinking? Twice? Although I would have been OK with his shenanigans if he at least beat the living shit out of Cooke. Wow, that guy is gutless. But effective.

Here's some basic stats to depress you:

Assuming 93 points is a bare minimum to get to the playoffs, the Oilers need to accumulate 37 points in 28 games. That means winning better than 2 out of every 3 games.

So, who you pulling for when the playoffs come??

"You know, when Young gets back from injury, I'm sure he'll help the club. I think. He hasn't played in a while, though."

2007-02-05T19:36:00.000-07:00

Team: While I'd prefer to be an Oiler due to Being-Born-And-Raised-In-Edmonton-Itis, it would have to be a team desperate enough to need me, poor enough not to be able to sign someone better and good enough not to get an early draft pick.
Uniform number: 71 or 77. Used to like wearing #7 until Jason Arnott tarnished the number.
Position: Usually in an agitator role. Kind of Tikkanen speaking English, "The Rat" but better looking or Buchberger but more erudite.
Nickname: Who's that? Game Day Decision. Write-In. Emergency Call-Up. Not him. Dave Young (knee) Dave Young (upper body injury) Dave Young (concussion)
Dream linemates: Someone good enough to pass the puck off my ass into the net, a la Gretzky/Semenko. Gretzky is retired so that won't happen. Someone tough enough to finish the fights I start.
Rounding out the PP: Someone fast enough to catch the players that strip the puck from me. Someone smart enough to notice players streaking past me and check them.
Job: Opening the door on the bench when needed. Or not opening the door when needed. Making the really emotional players (Torres, Hemsky types) mad at me and start playing with emotion. Above all, basically finding a way to get on the team and then doing all I can to avoid actually playing and getting found out, thus ending a brilliant career.
Signature move: Tying up opponents at our blueline hoping for an offside call. Signing charity autograph items for the star players for beer money (signature move, ha ha ha). A limp. Subtle enough to suggest that a return is coming soon. Strong enough to keep me off the ice.
Strengths: Fierce determination, funny comments to opponents hoping to throw them off, learning to do fake Russian, Czech, Swede accents hoping to anger Euros. Having such a lopsided shot that goalies have no friggin' idea where or how the puck will come off the stick, thereby fooling them. Getting into fights I have no hope of winning to fire up teammates (and also keep me off the ice - the less time on the ice means the more time on the team - don't want to be exposed too quickly).
Weaknesses: Not actually believing it when the coach lets me hit the ice ("You're kidding Coach!).
Injury problems: Not staying injured long enough or seeming too injured and being written off. Perhaps a disease of some kind can "happen" so if and when I have to play again, it will be with huge fanfare and low expectations.
Equipment: Determined ferocity. Cane.
Nemesis: Anyone who thinks "talent" or "skill" or "ability" make them better. Trainers and doctors who know what they are doing.
Who I’d face in the Stanley Cup Finals: Whoever else is in the press box. "Cory Cross?! You're still here?"
What I’d do with the Stanley Cup after our victory: Beg the team brass to let me get my name on it too. Then pay off selected media hacks to do the same.
Would the media love me or hate me?: I'd be iconic - and usually available in the press box faking a limp and carrying an (completely unecessary) cane or something. (You know, to stay on the roster but off the ice.) Keeping my name out there (doing every interview, going to every team function or photo-op, being the NHLPA rep) will make fans and team brass assume I should be there just through constant visibility and repetition - I'll create my own mythology. Like Tie Domi did.

Alright. Tag received. Now I'm handing off to Art Vandelay and Sideshow Raheem of OSHL Hockey.

Can-openers, cherry-pickers and turning right

2007-02-05T10:19:00.000-07:00

Looks like I've been tagged by Chris! at Covered in Oil to do the hockey blogger chain-letter thingy. It's Monday, so I've got nothing better to do...

Team: Cleveland Barons ("Best Logo to Include a Map of Ohio" as voted by the logo-voting media)
Uniform number: 10, after boyhood hero and chain-smoking beer-guzzler Guy Lafleur (see earlier post)
Position: Rover
Nickname: Future Considerations, Floater, Cherry-Picker, Mr. Opportunistic, Pud (from the Bazooka Joe comics)
Dream linemates: Chris! and Pleasure Motors (Called, of course, the PMTBPC! line. This shit writes itself...)
Rounding out the PP: U-Boat 55, Spaz
Job: Getting the crucial seventh goal in an 8-1 drubbing (a la Anson Carter). Filling the water bottles.
Signature move: Waving stick in the air at opposing team's blueline, yelling "I'm open, I'm open." Mis-handling puck on breakaways. Getting off the ice when the puck goes into our zone to avoid bad plus/minus rating.
Strengths: Strong skater (in a straight line or turning left). Master of 17 different variations of the "can-opener"
Weaknesses: Shooting, passing, positioning, turning right.
Injury problems: None. Tend to avoid corners, front of net, slot, and any other place with high traffic.
Equipment: Yes.
Nemesis: Head coach, line-mates, whoever does the music at Rexall.
Who I’d face in the Stanley Cup Finals: The 17th hole at Sawgrass.
What I’d do with the Stanley Cup after our victory: Buy an engraver and add Pocklington to the end of every winning team,
Would the media love me or hate me?: Hate me on the outside, but love me on the inside, because I'd refer to Don Cherry as "a badly-upholstered know-it-all loud-mouth only-one-game-playing no-point-getting jerk", because we were all thinking it anyway.

And that is what they call that. I hereby tag Young D In The Box .

TRIVIA TIME

2007-02-04T01:26:00.000-07:00

Pictured is Petr Sykora and the scoring line that he was part of when the Devils won the Stanley Cup in 2000.
Sykora is the only Oiler on the roster right now that has a Stanley Cup win in his hockey resume (or CV - he is a Euro).

I forgot about that Cup win - mainly because it was an Arnott winning goal that won the Cup for Jersey - and the interesting story about Sykora from that series against Dallas.
Petr was not playing in the winning game six as he was in the hospital after a dirty hit by - who else? - Derian Hatcher knocked Sykkie out of the game by stretcher. Larry Robinson and Patrick Elias draped Sykora jerseys over their shoulders while celebrating the Cup win. Then they brought the trophy to Sykora in the hospital.

TRIVIA QUESTION: Before Sykora joined the Oilers this season, who was the last player with a Stanley Cup ring (won before he joined Edmonton, not after) to play on our Oilers?

A little hint here: The last season that the Oilers had an actual Stanley Cup winning player on the roster (before Sykora) was also the last season that the Oilers had a member of the 1990 Stanley Cup winning squad suit up for the Oilers.

Extra Trivia Question: Who is the last remaining active NHL player who has won a Stanley Cup with the Oilers?

I was a bit surprised how little Stanley Cup-winning experience has been on the team in recent years. Small-market teams can't buy Cup winners, can they?

Apologies if my late-night research was flawed and I missed someone.

WAAAAAAHHHHH

2007-02-01T23:18:00.000-07:00

I was going to do a pros/cons good/bad positives/negatives list on tonight's game and the general state of Oil-fairs.
Today's list will be more cons/bads/negatives I have a feeling.

THE YUCKO
-Roli looks off. Way off. He looks mad, off his game and not like a leader. Jussi has looked better - at least Jussi has a two-game win streak. But Roli is capable of better. Jussi will have to overachieve.
-I'd like to think that Toby Petersen was being shopped tonight and his play was adequate - what with 18 minutes playing time and about eight minutes of PP time - but coaches don't put players out on the ice to support some master plan of the GM. He did get a goal.
-Bergeron had a good game last night (against Columbus) but looked shaky tonight. The Oilers need someone on the back line who can keep the puck in the zone on the PP. Start with that. Peterson was no better.
-Stoll got hurt but should be OK. Took a shot to the head and he was still ringing after getting his nose broken earlier.
-All the wrong teams are winning. Eight place is getting further away.
-Is Kevin Lowe just hitting brick walls when he tries to make trades? Is he still waiting? Will we see one soon? Will there be a deal tomorrow or after the Saturday afternoon game? Will there be a deal?
-Can Lowe politely ask Mess to visit the Oiler dressing room and start punching lockers? Or players?

THE GOOD(?)
-It's nice to see young Marty - he's 30? - Reasoner get some ice time. He did all he could tonight to prove that he deserves it. He will be this year's Fernando Pisani - if the Oilers make the playoffs. I've always liked Reasoner. The reliable players have always been my faves.
-Laddy Smid is still having problems finding a way to prevent opponents in his own end from scoring or nearly scoring, but he actually got a little pushy-shovey with Matt Cooke tonight (not the first NHLer to do that) and showed a little flash with his huge foray into the Canucks zone resulting in a Toby Petersen goal.
-Lupul got a goal. The rest of his game, however.........

No more.
Too disappointed.

This week's Actual In The Box Column

2007-02-01T20:39:00.000-07:00

Here it is. In The Box.
We tried something a little different this week. Something a little more ADD-friendly.
Enjoy. Don't be afraid to check out the rest of the longtime weekly entertainment paper that saves some space for the hockey fans along with the music geeks and the movie geeks. I think there's room for a little of each in all of us, isn't there?

Watching the Oiler game right now, BTW, Marty Reasoner came soooooo close to scoring a shortie. Rang it off the post. He's so unlucky and works so damn hard, young Marty.

Type 'n Watch

2007-01-27T20:15:00.003-07:00

Figured I'd watch tonight's game and type as I go.
Sean Burke? One of only a few players older than I. Good luck to the Oilers. Couldn't they get the Japanese guy instead? Horrible helmet. I would have thought it cool when I was in junior high, though.
Great first shift by Hemsky, Smyth, Horcoff. Moving the puck well.
Goal by Ryan Smyth. Nice to see. The Oilers are so good at keeping a lead at home.
Nedved sitting. Staios back.
Oh. Mark Lee (don't like his play by play too much). Drew Remenda is a pretty good colour guy. I don't like the timbre of his voice, but he is learning when to speak and what to say. He does know his hockey.

How come I probably won't like GHOST RIDER as much as I want to? Cartoon movies tend to disappoint (Daredevil, X-Men especially - both should have been much better). I remember going to see the first Spiderman movie in the theatre with a friend of mine. All the young kids who were new to getting Spiderman marketed to them weren't half as excited as the two of us were to see a good Spiderman movie finally. Waited about 25 years for that movie. Go Spidey.

1st period....13:20 on the clock.
Nice steal by Stoll. Just like last night, he's got no deke as he rumbles in with a hard-earned breakaway.

Staios in on the net....not much of a deker either. He does like to sneak in once in a while.

Couldn't go to the game last night. Kinda glad. I was busy hooking up a brand-new big screen projector up at RATT - shameless plug. The new one looks way better than our old dinosaur and won't shut off during a game. Apologies to the Battle of Alberta gang for that - but that night paid off with the perfect reason to upgrade. Hockey games will be that much better up there now. If only the Oilers would look as good as the big screen now does.

Fukufuji!!!!!!!! Let's hope he will need to play.

Next break, I'm going to skip the Home Depot ad (probably)and get a beer. A nice bottle of Guinness will do.
There. Beer open. The new Guinness bottles serve a great stout. You can't beat a real pint poured out of the keg into a pint glass, but for home drinking purposes the bottles are better than the cans.
And, in case any young U of A students are reading this.......you do NOT order Guinness in a jug. I've never seen so many inexperienced drinkers ask for that in my time bartending as I have in the past couple years. IT'S NOT DONE. DON'T DO IT. DON'T EVEN ASK.

Rumours of Blake to Edmonton....nice, but I'm not convinced we'll see that. He would fit well. He's like the Chris Pronger with some personality. A savvy and huge Canadian blueliner.

1st period. 8:08 left.
Where is our Anze Kopitar?

So I checked. Sean Burke, Rob Blake and Roli are the only players out there tonight older than I. This calendar year marks the year that anyone turning 18 years old after January 1st was born in 1989. That was the year I turned 18. You may have gathered that I work at a bar. This means that I will ask young snotnoses (I mean valued customers) for ID, they'll complain, and then I can tell them that I was 18 when they were born. Hand it over, kiddo.

Nice setting up on the powerplay. Bergeron doesn't look bad.
Hey guys. Help Markkanen out please. Someone head back? LA nearly scores a shortie.

1st period. 3:47 left. PP over. No goal.

Where's our Frolov? Maybe Hemsky? When Ales shoots?
Keep it up, Jussi. He really doesn't get much respect. He's a solid backup goalie. I figured at the beginning of this season that Edmonton had the best pair of goalies in the Northwest Div with Roli and Jussi. Still think so, although our backup never plays.

Crap. Goal by Cammalleri. Couldn't get out of the zone. Gave one up. Remember when I said the Oilers were good at holding a lead at home. That was, of course, sarcasm.

More to come. Period over. 23 shots in the first period between the two teams. Hm.

SECOND PERIOD:
Hemsky scores! Within the first minute too. He seems to always score at the tail end or beginning of a period. Gotta check that.
Markkanen ain't looking that bad. Keep it up, Jussi.

FYI......Edmonton is 4-6-0 on Saturdays so far this year.
LA is 5-7-2.
Edmonton has 3 wins, 2 losses, 1 OT loss and 4 ties on January 27 in only ten games since entering the NHL on January 27th.

2nd period. 13:06 left.
Oilers kill a 2-man advantage despite two of the team's more aggressive penalty-killing d-men in the box (Smith and Staios) with slashing penalties. Dodgy one with Staios. Pretty obvious one with Smith.

Los Angeles have only won four games on January 27th in 19 attempts with games on today's date. They have only won on the road on January 27th twice - in their first NHL season (January 27,1968) against Pittsburgh and in 2000 against Nashville. A little history lesson. This Day In History. Let's see CBC come up with that little statistic.

Shite. 2-2. Goal by Patrick O'Sullivan. Googling on The Google shows that Patrick O'Sullivan shares a name (first and last) with an up-and-coming comedic actor and an Aussie Neo-Nazi.
Shite. 3-2 LA. Willsie? I hope he gives Matt Greene his wallet back. Stole the puck and buried it.
Time for another Guinness. Even though that guy with the Irish-sounding name scored LA's tying goal. I'll pretend I stole it from him.
2nd period. Another penalty. Laddie Smid in the box. I think he registered an actual facial expression. He's like the opposite of this guy - who has many facial expressions, most of which are crazy.
Second Period Over. One and a half Guinness gone. 3-2 Kings.
Maybe Kevin Lowe should trade for a puck-moving defenceman. I wonder if anyone has brought that up yet. Just a thought that struck me.
THIRD PERIOD STARTING. GOOILERS.
Oilers were outshot 16-5? I guess that happens when you are killing penalties all the time. Because of all the PK lines, we haven't seen much of Stortini either. I liked the way he bounced around against Calgary, stirring things up. Did what Jacques was supposed to do.
Yay. 3-3.
Goal by Horcoff after a quick slapper by Ryan Smyth. Nice pass by Hemsky as well. Hemsky's monkey on his back/piano on his ass must be a little lighter. He's been waking up lately.
Some fun end-to-end hockey just finished with a great save by Jussi, falling on his ass to slow things down.
3rd period. 15:38 left.

Ryan Smyth with another goal!!!! 4-3 Oilers.
That means this is his eighth multiple goal game. He has 19 of his 25 goals in just eight games with seven two-goal games and one hat trick.
.....If it isn't called back. Come on refs. It didn't get kicked in.

.......IT'S GOOD. Another ugly and completely necessary Ryan Smyth goal in Ryan Smyth style. Hemsky has four points tonight already and is looking great.

I love that tight-lipped, constipated look on Marc Crawford's face when he's down. He's coached Colorado, Vancouver and now LA. Always a pest to the Oilers. You'd think from the way Oiler fans have always seemed to have had reasons to vilify him, that he'd be a bad guy, but he's quite engaging and friendly in person.
I suggest to the curious that you visit the downtown Sherlock Holmes on Oiler hockey nights (I hope to God there isn't a parade of deadbeats, then again, I don't work there) as a lot of visiting coaches and staff, as well as media guys and officials visit the old pub. That's because most NHL visitors either stay at the Westin or the Hotel Mac. Most of those hockey people are great to chat with - just don't be annoying while they're enjoying their pints and time with their pals.

Time for another beer. This time a Lowenbrau - up 1% in alcohol content from Guinness. From 4.2%alc by vol to 5.2%. Giddy up.

I just Wiki-realized that Lowenbrau is pronounced as "lervenbroy" if you pronounce it properly. As snotty as that is (remember the PAPIER-MACHE episode of Seinfeld?) I think I'll use that from now on.

3rd period. 3:18 left.
Yes, the game is still on. Oilers are playing smart with the lead so far. That Sykora, Petersen, Lupul line is doing well but I don't like that combo. But the goodl old reliable Horcoff, Hemsky, Smyth line looks great tonight.

1:45 left.

Dear Ales Hemsky. More of this please. Way more. You'll make that jump from talented youngster to player to watch with more games like this.

EEEEW. Mark Lee just said "undresses Sopel." Yuck.

1 minute left.
I love Mark Lewis' voice. He's the Oilers longtime PA announcer. That voice is as attached to Oilers lore as Joey Moss.

Jason Smith just looks scary when he drops his head and glares during faceoffs.

OILERS WIN.
THE DOOMSDAY CALLS CAN WAIT.
Now time for some EA Sports PS2 online hockey. Yes, I'll be the Oilers. Yes, I'll lose, probably to fat 15-year old shitheads.
NIGHT ALL.

WOW. How did I miss that one?

2007-01-25T20:10:00.000-07:00

While I was searching the interweb looking for a picture that would accompany a little rant I'm working on (that will have to come later) I found this little quote from Mike Modano:

“Basically, we were on our own as far as arrangements, flights, hotels, tickets. Normally, that’s something you don’t have to think about. That’s something that should be taken care of so we don’t have to worry about it and can focus on hockey and get ready to play."

This was posted during the Olympics. Apparently this was Modano's excuse for the American hockey team's poor showing in the Olympics.

I know this happened a year ago, but What The Hell? Pro athletes really do live in a different world than you and I, don't they?

Booking a flight and hotel caused you to lose? Hello? You can't pay your dog to do that for you? This is, after all, the same man who was faced with the option of playing in the minors during the lockout and the salary of about $400/month was thrown out.
And Modano says "$400 a month isn't enough to feed your dog."

Saw that little Olympic quote and was surprised I missed it. Kinda glad I missed it too. Comments like that make me question why I watch pro sports at all. They (the athletes) for the most part aren't like us.

This week's issue of In The Box, y'all.

2007-01-25T18:45:00.000-07:00

All-Star break is over. Here's the latest In The Box which can be found every week in Vue Weekly.
We could have used the little break in Oilers hockey to talk about "THE STATE OF HOCKEY" like a bunch of other Oiler blogs did, but we were lazy.
In this week's column we discuss the YoungStars, Rexall ice and the new uniforms.

THE LATEST ISSUE

2007-01-19T21:37:00.000-07:00

Read it.
The actual column that spawns this wee blog of leftover ideas, stuff that wouldn't fit in the column itself and random musings.
This week features Dave's favourite recent pun.

While you're at it, read the rest of Vue Weekly. Some good stuff, including TB's Haiku CD Reviews.
Very funny stuff each week.

GIVE SMYTTY #94 (.....and a contract extension?)

2007-01-16T22:56:00.000-07:00

It's been reported that Phoenix Coyote Yanic Perreault will be wearing Ryan Smyth's #94 in the upcoming All-Star Game.

Tradition dictates that, when two players both hold the same jersey number, the veteran player gets the choice.

Ryan Smyth will be wearing #93 instead of his traditional #94.

Perreault has played in 773 career regular season games and 54 playoff games. That equals 827 games.

Smyth has played in 752 regular season games and 68 playoff games. That equals 818 games.

Perreault was drafted by Toronto in 1991 and entered the NHL in the 93-94 season.
Smyth was drafted by Edmonton in 1994 (hence 94) and entered the NHL in 1994 (hence 94).

So Perreault has the edge in games played by 21 regular season games and 9 regular season and playoff games combined.

He has been in the league longer.

But Perreault only wore #94 for 326 regular season and 21 playoff games. He did not adopt the jersey number until he joined the Habs in 2001. Before that, he wore #44 with Toronto and Los Angeles and Toronto once again.

Ryan Smyth has worn his reliable #94 for all but three games of his NHL career. During his first season in 1994, Smytty wore #10 (other Oilers to wear that number since - Falloon, Czerkawski and now Horcoff).

So, while he has a slight edge in NHL seniority, does he really have #94 seniority?
Ryan Smyth has worn the number much longer. He's worn it for Team Canada as well.

Give Smytty his number, Perreault.
Or maybe a faceoff contest for it. Check that. Rock, paper, scissors?

Come on, Oilogosphere. This has to be a technicality we can explore. Or whine about.

Ryan Smyth wouldn't look right wearing a different number on his jersey.

He also wouldn't look right in a different NHL team's jersey. But that's another rant.

Cinderella Story - Looks More Like "Sleeping Beauty" Today

2007-01-15T19:50:00.000-07:00

The Hangover started about a month ago.

Remember those heady days of winning playoff series against the Mighty Wings, the Mighty Sharks and the Mighty Ducks. Hockey fans like myself got to see some great playoff action that didn't involve an early exit against the Mighty Stars or the Mighty Avs.
I am old enough to have been around to cheer on the Oilers in the 80's, but do you think I saw any games in person? Back then it was expected for our team to not only make the playoffs but to push their way through them and win another Cup.
This past Spring was special.

But by the time the Finals ended and Whyte Avenue was swept up and bar staff and cops had cashed their overtime cheques we forgot one thing:
WE BARELY EVEN MADE IT INTO THE PLAYOFFS.

It took a last-minute goal (and what a goal) from Ales Hemsky with 34 seconds left in GAME FRICKIN' 81 to allow the Oilers to squeak into the playoffs. Last team in. Had the Canucks not dropped one too many games themselves we would have been the only Canadian team (oh yeah, only Canadian team other than the LEAFS) on the outside looking in, like Canucks fans were.

In fact, at this point last season (January 16) the Oilers were sitting in fourth place in a tight race in the Northwest Division (four points behind Calgary in first)and were stuck in a 3-4-1 sinkhole after sitting atop the Northwest at Christmas.
Goaltending was still a major concern and fans were questioning Kevin Lowe for not addressing the team's serious need for a legitimate starting goalie.

Oiler fans and players are still trying to get over a great playoff run, creating a boatload of new memories and highlights and now we're all awaiting the next sugar rush. Unfortunately, just like last year, the team has to get there first.

To beat this little analogy to death. The playoff run was a Lost Weekend times ten. The thrill of that little experience left everyone a bit numb.
You ever woken up from a night or weekend of drinking/entertaining and everything felt kinda good the next morning? That's because you were still drunk.
That's how the team, fans and GM started the season. Still drunk. Ears ringing. A bit giddy. You know.
Then the Hangover stage kicked in.

Keep in mind that the core of this team just experienced not only their collective career highs but they also have to swallow what could be considered their biggest career disappointments. They surprised everyone, including themselves, by rolling through Detroit and the West Coast and then nearly winning the Damn Stanley Cup. But they didn't.

Yes. The team needs a "puck-moving defenceman." In fact, when did Oiler fans ever give a flying fuck about a "puck-moving defenceman" before? When a pretty good one (Jaro Spacek) was acquired last season, most fans went "who?" or "how many goals has he scored?"

Yes. The team needs it's scorers to step up. We used to be quite happy seeing our plugger forwards rack up 10-20 goals. Now we want Pisani to score more and Lupul to score more and Horcoff to score more. Hopefully they do. But we also have Smytty scoring enough to price himself off the team.

Yes. Kevin Lowe already knows all of this. He knows a little about hockey and I'm sure we all know a deal is on the way. When will it/they happen? Will it/they work? Who knows? Lowe ran the risk of loading up on the front (Sykora, Lupul) more than we've ever seen an Oiler GM do in a long time and let his experiment with rookie (Smid, Hejda) and rookie-ish (Greene, Bergeron) blueliners run wild. He knows they aren't cutting it. He also knows that fixing it may not be as easy as we all think. Hell, Lowe is pretty competitive. Check that. He's not pretty. He's extremely competitive. He will do what it takes to give his team a crack at the playoffs once again. He's probably stood in front of the mirror himself after some games and wondered if he should suit himself and Huddy up and show the kids a few lessons in clearing a path in front of the net.

Hangovers hurt. You puke and have a nasty headache and you swear that you'll never have the strength to drink again. Then you feel better and go out to the pub.
The Oilers are at the headache stage. I think we did a lot of puking (as fans) over the last month.
The pub is still open and the team is still welcome to tip a pint.
So far, anyway.
Analogy stretched.

Be Aloof or Be a Jerk?

2007-01-13T19:46:00.000-07:00

-

There has been an ongoing debate in the sports world about celebrating on the field/ice/pitch as long as people have been paid to play games for fans.
I was just reading an article on Nashville Predator rookie Alexander Radulov. The rookie has brought with him a reputation for being demonstrative when scoring goals.

Watch the video and see a few highlights of the Russian during his time in the QMJHL. He drew some fire in his time for twirling his stick in front of the opponent's bench and using his stick like a sword, but when your coach is this guy classy play and concern for your opponent's feelings aren't always high on the priority list. The Russian music helps too. (Russian National anthem? I'm not sure. It's been awhile since I've seen Nikolai Volkoff walk to the wrestling ring) That music can make the most banal acts seem way more dramatic and grandiose than they really are. I should use Russian music in my day-to-day life.

"Raddy" has tamed his celebrating somewhat, but he is still known for being fun to watch after scoring a goal, which he's done 11 times so far this season (finally - I picked him in one of my crappy hockey pools).

The NHL.com article mentions that Preds veteran Steve Sullivan has cautioned the young Russki to remember to "respect the opponent."
That means not looking like clowns on the field and remembering that it's not always about you.

In hockey, fans tend to fall into one of two camps: the "it's a game, they should have fun on the ice" camp and the "look like you've been there before" camp.
I definitely fall into the first group.
Take Wayne Gretzky as an example. One of the first things I appreciated about Wayne, after realizing we were watching history being made here in Edmonton due to his unprecedented talent, was the fact that Wayne always looked like he loved playing the game. Whether Wayne scored a goal or one of his teammates scored, Wayne always looked like he was happier than any fan in the building. He never looked cocky about it either.
Then again, when you're cheering for the Oilers and an Oiler player scores and celebrates, you don't really care. To a fan of the opposing team or an opposing player, an overenthusiastic goal celebration either pisses them off or fires up the adrenaline of the opponents.
If you ask me, there should be joy on the ice when someone scores a goal. It is a game. Screw looking like a professional. If my team scores a goal and all the players do is nonchalantly tap their sticks together, it makes me wonder if they really care or not. We do. They should be happier than the strangers who hug each other in the stands or exchange high fives.
Mario Lemieux always bugged me. He would score a highlight reel game winning goal and then quietly skate off the ice while his teammates and fans revel. Lemieux had said much later in his career that he wanted to appear humble and professional after scoring goals. He was just trying to be classy, but to me he always looked arrogant and indifferent.

I'm curious to hear what others say about goal celebrations in hockey.
I think today's athlete seems to either be too cold and indifferent after a big moment or far too arrogant. Usually the arrogance comes in American football, but it does creep into hockey occasionally.

Here's my take on some of the Oilers' goal celebrations.
Marty Reasoner: My favourite. It doesn't happen often enough, but I love when Marty celebrates a goal. Usually he pulls his fists to his arms, grins the biggest shit-eating grin (never understood that idiom) and opens his mouth like the MGM lion. His enthusiasm is great to watch.

Fernando Pisani. I don't know if others have noticed this, but when Pies scores he usually bugs his eyes out like he's afraid or confused, then sucks his cheeks in so he looks ill and skates to the Oiler bench for some high fives. He's very soft-spoken and humble and I think he is trying so hard to look humble and calm that he looks scared.

Smytty Used to look more excited than he does now, but he has more goals under his belt all the time. Still looks thrilled after big goals, whether he scores or a teammate does. It is hard for Smytty to celebrate some goals, especially when they bounce off his ass and he doesn't even get credit for the goal until later in the game. It was neat to see it was Smytty that ensured the puck was retrieved after Jan Hejda scored his first NHL goal - the OT winner against LA.

Petr Sykora Always looks thrilled to score. "Hockey Happy" - his own phrase he coined earlier this year. Looked thrilled, amazed and relieved after his goal against Minny Friday night.

Jason Smith Doesn't score much, but when he does he looks crazy, with predatory eyes and a 4 o'clock shadow. Oh wait, he always looks that way, goal or not.

Laddy Smid Who knows? If it happens, maybe he'll burst into flames. Oh, yuck. I said Flames.

This week's IN THE BOX

2007-01-11T20:23:00.000-07:00

Hot Off The Presses, as it were.
Read and enjoy.
Then check out the rest of Vue Weekly. See what's happenin' in Edmonton aside from the Oilers.

Something I Noticed A Ways Back....

2007-01-07T21:52:00.000-07:00

...... thought I would share it.
Take a peek at the the character's names during this episode of Law & Order.
Semenko, Lindros, Anderson, Goring, etc.
I remember seeing this episode once upon a time when A & E would show the program every day for what seemed about twelve times a day.
That particular episode was co-written (I discovered after doing some research on the interweb) by Canadian writer, lawyer and brother of two rabbis (as I found during that research)David Shore.

Shore moved on to help create what is probably the number one TV show in Casa Del Dave and Heather - House (or House, M.D. as it was originally titled). Dr. House is one of my favourite characters on TV and, as the Wiki-reference suggests, is also a hockey fan, as he whined about the fact that the Flyers suck.
House should adopt the Oilers as a favourite team.
Maybe he could figure out what is slowly killing their playoff chances.

Great work, David Shore. Hockey fans are just better and smarter, aren't they?

WEIRDEST GOAL YET?

2007-01-04T23:32:00.000-07:00

Oilers 5
Dallas 6
after an unexpected OT and shootout

Game Notes:
1- Obviously #1 - The strangest goal in quite a while to tie the game up. Watch the highlights for this one. Even though I'm sure everyone has seen it and commented on the goal already here goes:
With seconds left in the game and the Oilers with an empty net in an attempt to tie the game up, Stars forward Patrick Stefan picks up a M-A Bergeron cough-up at the Oiler blueline and attempts to carefully skate as close to the empty net as possible, misses and the Oilers quickly recover the puck, send it to Ryan Smyth who feeds clutch-meister Ales Hemsky for another important late-game goal. Crazy.
Interesting note on this goal: Two games in a row, a Marc-Andre Bergeron flub translates into a sweet Ales Hemsky goal. First the eventual winning goal against Florida came after Bergeron lost the puck at the same blueline, recovered it and fed Hemsky.
Then the weirdo goal tonight.
Bergeron's lumps of coal are being pressed into Hemsky's diamonds.

2- Bergeron should learn to use his power for good and not evil.

It seems that Bergeron has a unique ability to injure NHL goaltenders in key situations.
First, we all remember Bergie conspiring to injure Dwayne Roloson in the Stanley Cup Final series, ending the hot goalie's amazing playoff run and leaving us with Ty Conklin and his assist on the Carolina Game One winner.
Then Bergeron sends a rocket of a slapper right into Stars backup goalie Mike Smith, which cracks his helmet and results in the Dallas starter, Marty Turco, taking over in the third period. Up until that point, the Oilers had managed to score 4 times on Smith in 17 shots. Injuring Smith did not help the Oilers' cause. This meant the Oilers wound up facing a better goalie in Marty Turco(who stopped 10 of 11 shots in the third and two shots in OT) and one who now has a 4-1 record in shootouts.

Message to Bergy: If you do have this uncanny ability to injure goalies: Injure the other team's goalie. But don't injure a goalie that isn't doing well.
Next time. Work on it. You do have the power. Time to hone it. Try your voodoo shite on Kiprusoff in Calgary January 13th. That one will work.

3- How angry is Stoll?
The guy is a fierce competitor.
His penalty in the third period resulted in the Stars getting a 5 on 3 PP. Then it was 4-3. Then, on Stoll's remaining penalty, Dallas scored again. 4-4 tie. Despite all the distraction with the bizarro goal and the OT and the shootout, I'm sure Stoll remembers that.
Some guys bounce back. Some guys sulk. Stoll seems like a bouncer-backer.
We'll see tomorrow night.

That's the weird stuff I noticed.
Nice to see Nedved, Horcoff and Lupul all score. They all need goals badly for different reasons.
Nice to see Ryan Smyth with 20 goals in 29 games, the highest Goal Per Game total in the NHL (unless there's some call-up out there who has one goal in his first game). Can we say $5.5 million?

This Week's Column

2007-01-04T18:25:00.000-07:00

Read and enjoy.
Then pick up an issue of Vue. You can find them at bars. How hard is that?

Baby Takes The Pain Away

2007-01-01T16:35:00.000-07:00

I'm sure all the Oiler-watchers out there are as frustrated with our little team as I am right now.
-The team is 2-8 over the past ten games.
-The team defence is looking shaky at best and horrible most times.
-The team has been outscored 34-23 in the past ten games.
-Four of the last ten losses have come to divisional rivals.
-MacT can't decide who to bench and who to sit lately with M-A Bergeron sitting against Calgary and Thoresen sitting for awhile. Jacques and Winchester have been switching off and no one seems to know what to do with Hejda.
-Everyone is screaming for a trade and as this post on another blob (sic) implies there are nothing but great options out there and Kevin Lowe just doesn't get it. How come he hasn't dumped an underachieving player for a star yet?
-In case you don't understand sarcasm, Kevin Lowe probably knows exactly what his team needs and he probably knows it better than all of us blob-experts do. Great puck-moving defencemen aren't exactly growing on trees out there and getting them will require losing someone in return. If we are going to gain a Dan Boyle or a Sheldon Souray, a well-loved Oiler player will be going the other direction. Something will happen. And it might not help.
-The team is losing its tenuous grip on a playoff spot and losing games badly and appearing that they really can't get it together. Then again, every team out there has its own slumps. We are just seeing every bad Oiler game, every sloppy Oiler shift and every crappy stretch of losses through our blue and orange coloured glasses.

So, basically it's one of those times where it is really not a great time to be an Oilers fan. It's not much fun. It's something we do not want to face after such a sugar high of that inexplicable playoff run. We were all reminded of what it is like to once again cheer for an NHL team that everyone else is watching too - instead of a team that is largely ignored by the "hockey world". The thought of sitting out the playoffs this Spring isn't great.

Then the Oilers lose to Calgary on New Year's Eve.

And, really I don't care too much.
Because the cutest baby in the world, my 19-month old Pepper said the word "HOCKEY" for the first time just before the New Year's debacle(that we noticed anyway).

As the game was beginning, little Pepper watched the TV, grabbed her little plastic hockey stick (she saw it at the Dollar Store while the lovely Heather and I were picking up Christmas bits and pieces and didn't let go of it) and said HOCKEY.
OK, she actually says "HAW-Tee" but she says it all the time now when a game is on and I point to the TV or when I grab one of my hockey books and point to a picture.

Heather was not too thrilled. She hates hockey. She even decided, just to spite me, that Calgary is her new favourite team.

The rest of the New Dads out there will understand. It took the pain of the rest of the game right away watching little Pepper, who is learning new words all the time, say HAW-Tee.

This doesn't get the Oilers off the hook.
2007 better start out a hell of a lot better than 2006 ended.

HISTORY OF "IN THE BOX" volume one

2006-12-30T12:10:00.000-07:00

In The Box has been a staple in Edmonton's entertainment weekly paper, Vue Weekly since 1996. It's been a bit of an aberration in an arts-and-issues-based paper, but it seems to have its curious readership.
Only in this city, where the local Improv folks are using hockey as a backdrop for their long-standing improvised weekly "soap opera" Die-Nasty can hockey and the arts live in relative comfort.
Even the rock stars in town have a hockey league.

In The Box started in October of 2006 by former Vue Weekly editor Steve Sandor and John Turner. The pair wrote the column for several years as a duo.

Here's the column's inception, in the words of Steve himself.

OK, so Dave asked me to write a brief history lesson on ITB. Wow, John and I started back in 1996, when the Oilers' stars were guys named Joseph, Arnott and Weight, and that kid Smyth looked like he might have a future. Mironov, De Vries, Berehowsky and McGillis anchored the blue line.

Basically, we were at Vue and got press passes. We had to figure out a way to justify it. So, at our first game, the Sabres facing the Oilers, frantic to come up with something to print, we decided to not try and pretend we were anything but hacks. We would write as if we were astonished that someone would give us the space to print our two cents worth. We spent a lot of time griping about referees (we must have written a book about Steve Walkom, the anti-Oiler), bad uniforms, players we hated and John bugging me about my Toronto roots. Some classic early moments; calling Carolina bars and asking random patrons of they'd ever heard of the Hurricanes; and our "design a new uniform for the Canucks" contest.

Some way, some how, the Oilers actually LIKED the thing, because I was soon asked to write for the game program on a freelance basis. Later,it became a full contract as the editor of Zone. With that conflict, I had to leave ITB behind.

I stayed with the Oilers until the lockout messed up all the economics for us little people who depended on hockey; in Toronto, I still can't live without Oilers hockey. Thank whatever deity you'd like for Centre Ice. Heck, I even wrote a book about it (Shameless plug for "The Battle of Alberta," Heritage House, available through amazon, chapters/indigo or your favourite local book shop, like Audreys).

I wish the Oilers the best; the job wasn't a job at all.

999 against 99.

2006-12-22T12:12:00.000-07:00

The Oilers win over Wayne Gretzky and his Coyote buddies was especially notable as it was the Oiler franchise's 999th win. One more win in the next nine games and the Oilers will be the third fastest franchise to mark 1000 wins, just behind Montreal and Philadelphia.

999. That's Gretzky's 99 on the jersey and 9 NHL seasons with the Oilers. Wayne always had a flair for the dramatic.

Sure is sad to see him looking like he just ate a handful of sour candies lately as he grimaces in pain behind the bench.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH????? (and then frozen for ten or fifteen years)???

2006-12-20T22:06:00.000-07:00

Edmonton's own Just A Game late-night host. and TSN's Monster Performer.

It's like looking into a time machine.
McGuire did coach for The Hartford Whalers - our own Mr. Gregor's favourite NHL team.
Maybe that inspired JG's hairstyle and spectacle choices.
Cheers Jason Gregor. Good luck in the Fantasy Football final against Jimmy.

STONE HANDS REPORT V. 2

2006-12-20T20:28:00.000-07:00

After a week that saw Marc-Antoine Pouliot, Toby Petersen and Matt Greene all getting goals for the Oilers in the last three games, it's time for the nextStone Hands Report.

As of Wednesday, December 20th there are 36 NHL players who have yet to score a goal.
I am only counting players who have played 30 or more games this season.Most of the list are the usual plugging blueliners (Chelios, Numminen, Hedican, Wesley, you know...) but there are two forwards left on the list. Vancouver's Alexandre Burrows and the Rangers' Ryan Hollweg.

Detroit's Kirk Maltby was on the list but a goal Wednesday night against Columbus got him dropped off the Zero List just in time. He would have been just the third forward to play more than 30 games this season without a goal.

Some notable finds:
Tampa Bay leads with four players on the list. (Paul Ranger, Cory Sarich, Doug Janik and Nolan Pratt). The Lightning scorers are ninth overall in the league with goals for, but when you are spending the lion's share of your cap room on three forwards (St. Louis, Lecavalier and Richards) you are going to need some cheap filler.

Five teams do not have any players on the list. (Montreal, Nashville, Boston, Phoenix and St. Louis)

The only Oiler - Ladislav Smid.

Umm...

2006-12-18T14:14:00.000-07:00

Guy's odd appearance aside, it seems that they've misspelled "Right Wing"...

Old Time Hockey

2006-12-18T11:42:00.000-07:00

I had the radio on the Team 1260 on the way to work today, and they were taking calls from listeners to hear about their "brushes with greatness". Of course, they were all of the "seeing Messier at a party" or "catching Arnott with 3 naked chicks in a hottub at one in the morning" variety. But it got me reminiscing about the time I got to bask in the glow of awesomeness of the recently-retired (the first time) Guy Lafleur. Yeah, I know, 99.7% of you probably hated the Habs, but I was born into a (somewhat) French-Canadian family. And in the 70s it was either cheer for them or the fucking Leafs. (Nobody cheered for the Canucks). I even kept cheering for them until Patrick Roy sucked the fun out of it later on.

Anyway, Guy was travelling around the country with his pal Steve Shutt and a team of All-Stars (read: career junior players and has-beens). For some strange reason, they decided to bring this show-of-shows up to Inuvik, where I was 15 and playing minor hockey (badly). I managed to get myself the job of stickboy for the visitors team, guaranteeing myself a chance to meet my boyhood idol.

The senior men's teams (all 4 of them) cobbled together their own all-star team. It was thought that Inuvik's finest might even be able to put up a decent fight. Memories of that night:

• going into the Inuvik All-Stars dressing room, where everyone was dressed very early, and pretty uptight.

• being sent to get Guy's team, who were still in the room with 5 minutes until game time. Guy was still in only his jockstrap, with a beer in one hand and a smoke in the other, telling some joke in French.

• four minutes later, he's on the ice. His and Steve Shutt's warm-ups consisted of ringing pucks off the crossbar from the blue line.

• Guy smoked through the entire game, leaving the burning cigarette on the bench when he was on the ice. That soon became my actual job, watching Guy's smoke.

• I don't remember the actual score, but Guy must have scored a dozen goals. Even at half-speed, he couldn't help but make everyone else look like they were nailed to the ground. The hometown squad was pretty sheepish afterward.

What can I say? He was a decent enough guy (no pun intended. I wouldn't stoop to Young D's level), and I think he may have even tipped me ten bucks after the game. I still have the autographed program somewhere. No naked broads, no underage girls, no cocaine. But a pretty good story nonetheless.

Denver Boot

2006-12-15T22:13:00.000-07:00

Some notes on tonight's game:
1- If you had shown me the game with the goals taken out (just the end to end play and the shots on net) I couldn't have told you which team should have or would have been the winner. At least four of the goals were ugly and could have happened to either team.

2- Hemsky seems alright - even after taking a pretty solid hit into the boards. We'll know soon what effect it had. He was pretty tentative, but still showed a few little dipsy-doodlies. His interview with Principe was pretty funny when Gene asked him if the sore shoulder would affect his shot and he said something to the effect of "I don't shoot anyway, just pass." The punchline was there somewhere but lost in his Czech accent and mumble.

3- First powerplay line for The Avs in one of the Colorado powerplays was Sakic with standout rookies Paul Stastny and Vojtek Volski (spelled wrong on purpose - save the corrections). MacT never lets his rookies take any shifts with any chance of scoring. Then again, our rookies aren't Wolski or Stastny. Pouliot did get some PP time.

4- Pouliot is the real thing. He'll find a way to stay with the Oilers if he keeps doing many things right as he has been. He leaves Toby Petersen and Laddy Smid behind as the last Oilers to go goal-less. Mikhnov and Jacques have only played a combined ten games, so we'll have to leave them off the no-goal list at least until they've hit double digits in games played individually.

5- And how about Matt Greene's first NHL goal? It was Thursday night but when I saw the replay, the teammates were pretty pumped. I'm guessing that Greene is very well-liked by his teammates. Stoll seemed happier than Greene, who was probably pretty stunned himself. That goal and the top shelf deke by Jason Smith in the playoffs in spring show that even the so-called stone hands blueliners in the NHL are still damn good hockey players.

6- How did I always assume that Ian Laperriere was not such a great, genuine person? Probably because he's pesky on the ice and has played with the LA Kings and Colorado against the Oilers. The guy seems like the real deal. He loves hockey and seems to love people and is an interesting interview. Check out his fan site. There's some neat bits in it. His mixture of grit, scoring potential and leadership would make him a great Oiler. But I suspect Colorado know what they have.

TRIVIA QUESTION:
Listening to Ray Ferraro doing colour commentary reminded me of how good a player he was and what a career he had. He was one of those unsung yet well-respected players and he adds to the broadcasts.
Peter Loubardias is a very OK play-by-play guy (he calls the game without too much aplomb or phoniness and seems to do his research) and is a nice guy but he is cursed with that bubble-caught-in-his-throat voice that sounds like he's trying to eat his own neck.
Ferraro and Kevin Quinn are a better team. Loubardias...meh. Doesn't hurt the game.
Anyway.........

Which two current Oilers were teammates of Ferraro during his much-travelled career?

First answer in the comments looks smart, wins nothing.

BRAD NIGHT

2006-12-14T22:41:00.000-07:00

It's nice that the Oilers didn't need it tonight, but it would have been a good night to dress Brad Winchester rather than leaving him the odd forward out as a healthy scratch.

I noticed in tonight's scoring summaries that Brad Stuart (BOS), Brad Boyes (BOS) and Brad Richards (TB) all scored goals tonight. Upon further inspection, the trio were the only Brads that played tonight resulting in a Brad sweep.

That little bit of useless trivia aside, tonight's win against Minnesota was a goodie. It helped keep the Oilers in first place in the impossibly close Northwest Division and helped a team with little confidence gain some back.

The Oilers played like ee cummings or kd lang in the first two periods (they failed to capitalize) and like the state of Texas in the third period (they executed).
Ding.

Grow the Damn Thing Back

2006-12-13T22:55:00.000-07:00

With a beard (during the playoffs): 14 goals and 4 assists in 24 games (0.75 pts/gm)
Without a beard (as an Oiler during regular season games): 48 goals and 44 assists in 221 games (0.41 pts/gm)

I just thought of this as I was scratching my very itchy and patchy (fight and fight, fight fight fight fight, The Itchy and Patchy Show) beard that I am growing for no particular reason at all.
Fernando needs the beard to play at his best.
Grow it, Fernie.

Riddle me this

2006-12-11T23:09:00.000-07:00

Alright, alright. Everyone knows we need a defenceman (Top 2 hopefully, a least top 3). So who's it gonna be? The longer Lowe waits, the more it resembles last year's goalie conundrum. Should he wait until teams drop out of contention? Or should he maybe overpay a bit now to make sure he gets what he wants (and needs)?

Tell me who you think the Oil should acquire, and who you'd be prepared to give up in return.

4-1 loss to Chicago

2006-12-10T22:58:00.000-07:00

At least the Penalty Kill stats are padded a little more.
Chicago went 0 for 10 on their powerplay.
Other than that........
The Oilers are 3-5-1 on Sundays over the past two seasons, with losses to St. Louis (three times) Chicago (twice) and Minnesota. The Sunday games that resulted in wins were all decided in extra time (two shootout wins and one overtime win).

The Oilers suck on Sunday. For me, I used to avoid planning anything important on Sundays, mainly because I was usually hung over. I will assume that is not the problem with our Oilers. They are, after all, professional athletes, not me. Or the old me, who used to go out drinking more than I should have.

There are five Sunday games left this season.

Goal #1 for Smith

2006-12-10T00:17:00.000-07:00

In last week's victory over Carolina, Captain Jason Smith marked his first goal of the season in what was his 27th game of the season.
So far this season, there are still 45 players in the NHL who have yet to score a goal this season, counting players who have logged at least 25 games.
40 of those players are blueliners and five (Donald Brashear, Kyle Calder, Alexandre Burrows, Kirk Maltby and Eric Rasmussen) are forwards.

-INTERESTING POINT. AFTER POSTING THIS, I READ ON NHL.COM THAT ERIC RASMUSSEN GOT HIS FIRST GOAL OF THE SEASON.

Means nothing really.
Just seemed interesting to me.

SHUTOUT OUT OUT OUT

2006-12-08T21:14:00.000-07:00

Game over.
2-0 Oilers.
I can now type the word "SHUTOUT".
Shutout.

S-Words and Roloson

2006-12-08T19:19:00.000-07:00

While I'm unsure about how writing about goalies affects the age-old hockey superstition of "never mention the s-word while your goalie is defending an s-word" I still figure it would be interesting to bring up some interesting stats I dug up about Dwayne Roloson's s-word record.
So, to respect the fickle "hockey gods" I will not actually type the word that will remain unuttered as the Dallas/Edmonton game is on right now. Interestingly enough, Roli is playing after his 4-0 win over Vancouver (Markkanen played in the Carolina match) and Marty Turco is playing after a 2-game s-word streak. Turco's streak is over already, thanks to Marc-Andre Bergeron.

Albert Dwayne Roloson's S-Words
Facts Unmasked:

Roloson has had 20 career regular season s-word thingies.
15 of those 20 s-words came after a loss in the game preceding it.

12 of those 15 games, Roli was the starter. In three games, he was the backup goalie and replaced the starter.

Both of Roloson's games this year (4-0 against Washington, 4-0 against Vancouver) came after losses. The Washington win came after a two-game losing streak (one game Roloson started, Markkanen finished; one game Markkanen started, Roli finished) and the Vancouver win followed a three-game losing streak.
14 of Roli's clean sheets (I didn't say the word) were during a home game - 6 came on the road.

Roli has blanked Vancouver 3 times in his career.

Roli's first s-word came in his fourth career game in 1996 against Los Angeles. He was playing for the (blah)Flames at the time. That game came after Roli appeared in two straight losses to the Oilers. The second of those two games saw Roloson relieve Calgary goalie Trevor Kidd after Kidd let four goals in the net. Roloson let another six in. The final score of that game was 10-1.
Roli has blanked St. Louis 3 times.

Interesting fact: Roloson has never won a game at all in his career against Toronto (0-5-0 3.01 GAA), Buffalo (0-3-1 2.47 GAA) and New Jersey (0-6-2 2.97 GAA).

The most interesting thing about these stats is the fact that Roloson (with 15 of 20 0.00 GAA games coming after losses) is competitive enough to fight back after adversity. His best games come after disappointment. That's the mark of a player who does not let losses bring him down and finds a way to make up for that.
One of a goalie's best tools is confidence. Roli appears to have enough confidence in himself to bounce back.
Call it Rebound Control.

WORST JERSEY RETIREMENT EVER?

2006-12-06T21:34:00.000-07:00

Colorado Avalanche Retire Ray Bourque's #77.

I couldn't believe it when I saw the Avs chose to hold a jersey retirement ceremony for end-of-career rental Ray Bourque, who helped the team win the Stanley Cup in 2000-2001.
I've always liked Ray Bourque's mixture of reliable defence, scoring contribution and leadership. Colorado were one of those pre-new-CBA teams that would always scoop up high-priced free agents (Bourque, Selanne, Kariya) when they needed them - because they could.

All this talk of retiring players and jersey ceremonies reminded me of that sham of a farce of a travesty of a snow job when they did a good thing for a great player that they really had no right to do.
They were doing nothing more than hanging off the coattails of a great and well-loved player.
The guy did play 94 regular season games (out of 1612 career NHL games - 5.8%) and 34 playoff games (out of 214 - 15.8%) with Colorado. Why not?
Hey, Avs. Guy Lafleur played 98 games with the Nords at the end of his career. He was pretty good too. Retire his number too.

Moose Head

2006-12-06T20:52:00.000-07:00

February 27, 2007 will probably be the day that EVERYONE IN TOWN wants to go to the hockey game.

Although it was leaked earlier, the Oilers will be raising #11 to the rafters in Edmonton against the Phoenix Coyotes.

For anyone who saw the Messier jersey retirement opus, I am glad that the Oilers keep their jersey ceremonies short and sweet.
The New York event was far, far too long (it was 77 minutes long in fact.)
The damn thing had too many speeches. There were too many video clips. There were needless bits like needing to spend eight minutes explaining every gift given out to Mess. ("How about this great Captain's chair. Get it? Captain? We even added gold fishing rods.") Christopher Reeve's widow sang a song.
Then, finally, Mess got to speak.
Paul Coffey's jersey retirement was a tidy 20-ish minutes. A video. A standing ovation. A couple quick speeches. Introduce the guests. Let Coffey speak and skate a lap around the rink.
Jari Kurri's night was much the same. Grant Fuhr's retirement ceremony was also efficient.
When today's actual working players are waiting to play a real game, don't piss around.
The MSG people felt a need to explain why Messier was important, just in case the fans in the stands didn't quite understand how great a leader Messier was. The New York fans get it. American or not, they're an Original Six city and they know their ice hockey.
You don't need to drag out the '94 (shortened season) Cup Champs, sing a song or let every hockey-related American talking head explain "the meaning of the word Captain."

In Edmonton, the player is the show. Let them walk out, let the fans give a long standing ovation, show some video highlights, let the old Oilers like Wayne, Grant and Joey wave at the crowd and let Moose speak.

I promised Gretz I wouldn't cry.
Say it, Moose. It would be a great line. No worries about the royalties.

Brett Hull gets his number retired

2006-12-06T20:32:00.000-07:00

Really not relevant to Oiler fans, other than the fact that Hull scored 72 points (39 goals - 6 game winners, 33 assists)in his career vs. Edmonton in just 52 games (since 1989, when Yahoo Sports started tracking these breakdowns.
A colourful player.
An early member of the "gets booed when he plays in Edmonton" club, mostly due to his games against Team Canada as a member of Team USA - and the fact that he seems to always score against Edmonton.

Joe Nieuwendyk retires

2006-12-06T19:54:00.000-07:00

Or....former CALGARY FLAME, DALLAS STAR and TORONTO MAPLE LEAF Joe Nieuwendyk retires.
If he wasn't such a great player, he'd be much easier to hate wouldn't he?
Played for three of the most hated teams in this city.

58 career points (28 goals, 30 assists)in 60 career games vs. Edmonton (at least since 1989, when Yahoo Sports started tracking that - missed the first couple seasons with blech-Calgary). 5 game winners vs. Edmonton. Goal against Tommy Salo to knock the Oilers out of the 1999 playoffs.

Isn't that enough? Boo. Boo Nieuwendyk. And congatulations on a hard-working career annoying Oiler fans. Shame about your choice of teams.

BLAME CHICAGO

2006-11-30T19:53:00.000-07:00

The Oilers have been a team relatively unscathed as far as injuries go, but right now they are scathed indeed.
Blame Chicago.
The Blackhawks came to Edmonton and that team has been overwhelmed with bad luck. And it looks like they left some of that bad mojo behind after visiting our city last Friday night.
Chicago lost Martin Havlat after one of the best starts of any player in the league. Rene Bourque caught a skate blade on the throat. Michal Handzus is out for the season. Nik Khabibulin missed a bunch of games and Adrian Aucoin has been ailing with a sore groin. Patrick Lalime is out for at least two more months. The coach has been fired. And the Black Hawks have missed the playoffs for six of the last seven seasons.
If any team has a dark cloud hanging over them, it's this one.

And here's the result of having the proverbial black cat cross the Oiler path:
Friday night's game against the Hawks was the first game that Steve Staios sat out in 224 games. He didn't get hurt in that game, but the Chicago Curse started with him.
Then Jussi Markkanen got hurt in the warmup and had to miss the Anaheim game and the Superskills afternoon.
Then Marc-Andre Bergeron caught the flu and played the Chicago game but was, according to Rod on the radio driving home, at "about 20%."
Then Marty Reasoner crashed into the boards in the Chicago game and missed the second and third periods. He was alright and played against Anaheim. Marty is no stranger to getting injured, though, and has been down that road before.
Then Ales Hemsky got smoked into the boards against Anaheim by Sean O'Donnell and is out for at least two to three weeks.
The Oilers' five game winning streak ended with the win against Chicago.

The only other significant injury the Oilers have suffered is the shoulder injury to Ethan Moreau.
Ethan Moreau played four seasons with the Chicago Blackhawks before being acquired by Edmonton.

So, I hear Chris Pronger was traded to Anaheim...

2006-11-27T20:57:00.000-07:00

So all the other pundits have weighed in.
Why not add another useless opinion on this amusing centrepiece to a hockey game.
So, here's Dave's opinion on Pronger-gate.

1- Chris Pronger showed poor timing and just a bit of insensitivity by announcing through this man of all people that he wanted out. Al Strachan, who has been the print voice across Canada for the Leafs and seems to always have irritating opinions that piss off John Davidson, Eric Duhatschek and the other hockey minds that share a virtual seat by the Hockey Night In Canada Satellite Hot Stove, was his vessel.
He didn't ask for his trade in a more straightforward and accountable manner but instead chose (or allowed his agent to choose) to use a mostly unpopular, Eastern-Canadian hockey writer to leak details of the trade first and then....

2- Head off to Mexico, home of such well-loved sports legends as Ron Mexico. Leaking the trade also probably resulted in....

3- Any trade deals leaving Kevin Lowe in a weak position as far as a negotiation would go. Other GM's immediately knew that Lowe was pretty much forced to dump his superstar and the multi-year contract that came with Pronger. Lowe was probably targeted immediately by other NHL GM's as the weak sister in the negotiations. Then again, most of these guys know each other and probably were aware of Pronger's desire to be traded before we were.
Either way, instead of offering deals to other GM's, they likely came to him with deals that they engineered rather than Kevin "I will never refer to him as K-Lowe" Lowe coming to them.
This is obviously just a wild guess as I did not have Lowe's phone tapped or any inside information whatsoever.

4- Nice to see Christie Chorley introduce herself at the press conference by saying, "Christie Chorley - The Score - nice to meet you finally."
Chorley got her name dragged through the mud and back again during the early days of the Pronger trade rumours and the resulting trade itself. Then CityTV fired just about everybody. But now she's bringing Oiler news and highlights to the rest of the country on THE SCORE. One can get dragged through the mud and do OK. I worked with Christie once upon a time at a shortlived sports bar. She lived and breathed sports TV and got to do what she really wanted to. I'm glad this incident and the ugly rumours didn't slow that down.

5- I do have a personal issue with Pronger signing a five-year deal, enjoying the adulation of a GODDAMN BARBEQUE to celebrate his signing and then deciding he wants a do-over. To me, that's the only real reason I do not include Pronger among my favourite hockey players. He signed a five year deal - that's a commitment - and changed his mind.
It's a bit simplistic, but even business commitments should be walked into with some thought and intention to honour them.

6- Booing Pronger...... I'm up and down about this. The hockey posts are either somewhat moderate or juvenile.
I don't buy into the "I paid for the ticket, I have a right to boo - and swear - and throw shit onto the ice - and make up signs with tacky and offensive cheap shots" thinking. Granted, I don't pay for tickets right now, but I've never been that kind of hockey fan.
If it would be possible to motivate and organize 16,839 wildly disparate people, I'd love to see the fans cheer, have a great time and - whenever Pronger touches the puck - go absolutely silent. Church silent. Michael Richards freaking out and crowd dropping their jaws silent. Crickets chirping silent. Eerie silent. Then cheer again when he no longer has the puck.
This won't happen. It would be impossible to get an entire room to buy in to something that difficult and subtle. Too bad.
I have a feeling that the city of Edmonton will once again look really bad in front of all the curious onlookers across the hockey nation. The catcalls will be caught by the microphones and the tacky signs will be flashed over the highlight reels. We'll look like idiots and the lineup for new free agents will start in Calgary. Players will be only too excited to show up here.

7- Oiler Player Reaction. I'm not entirely sure how the Oiler players feel about the whole thing but Roli has stated that booing Pronger will have little or no effect on him or his game. Other Oilers have said very little about "44/25" either. Hockey players are usually a pretty aloof, distant bunch and keep to themselves (and our hockey media let them continue to do so in fear of losing what little access they have). But I've never heard the players admit that they agree that Pronger did a bad, bad thing. I've never heard off the record that any of the Oilers disagreed with his decision.
Pronger seemed more aloof and distant than most players. He seemed like one of those players (Lemieux?) who treated hockey like a business that suits them more than a player (Gretzky? Ryan Smyth?) who seems to love hockey more than we fans do.
Very few of the players admitted to missing Prongs much either......
I just hope that the fans don't embarass or disappoint their own players Tuesday night or more may politely ask Kevin Lowe for trades.

I LOVE CAPERS

2006-11-21T00:43:00.000-07:00

Not the Capparis Sidosa, but a stunt, prank or goof.
An enterprising group of website sports nerds like us have a plan to thumb their noses at the NHL.
Vote for Rory Fitzpatrick as a "write-in" for the online voting for the starting All-Star Game line-up.
For those who don't immediately recognize Fitzpatrick, he's the one on the right in the Sabres jersey. On the left is an actual caper.

Hey, with 252 career NHL games and 17 career NHL points (none this year yet, but keep trying) since his introduction to the league in 95-96 - why not?

It seems like a funny way to show that making the All Star team should not be a popularity contest. And, considering that our Oilers aren't that popular around the league's NHL cities (at least not like we like to think they are), popularity contests suck. The All-Star team should be used to promote players who earned it - or players that the NHL thinks are worth it.

It's too bad this was dreamt up by a Canucks fan and we are helping send a message by promoting the name of a hard-working journeyman (who isn't even Canadian!!) who plays for Vancouver. But he was a one-time teammate of Horcs and Fernie.

So. What the Hell? Sign up, vote for Hemsky, Smyth, Roli and Sykora while you're at it.

Not On Our Kill

2006-11-20T21:20:00.000-07:00

Oiler Penalty Kill

If there's one thing working like a charm for the Oilers, it's the penalty kill.
As of today, the Oilers PK is #3 in the NHL behind Minny and Dallas.
Last year the Oilers had the eighth best PK. Two seasons ago, it was the 27th best (for comparison's sake). If there is one thing Craig MacTavish was known for in his time in the league, it was being the last player to wear a helmet - and being a reliable role player and penalty killer.

With Ethan Moreau going down, I figured the Oilers PK would take a dive after his plugging and grinding in the PK unit. He's one of the mainstays of the Oiler penalty kill and has been one of the reasons the unit worked so well last year to shut down other powerplays. Hell, Chopper even had two shorthanded goals in a game last year.
Here's some comparisons before and after Ethan.
Before the injury: The Oiler powerplay was tied for second in the league with a 91.3% efficiency (4 goals allowed out of 46 shorthanded situations).
Before and After the injury: The Oiler powerplay is now tied for third with a 90.1% rating (10 goals allowed out of 101 powerplays against).
During the injury: 89.1% efficiency - 6 goals allowed out of 55 powerplays.

More facts about the Penalty Kill.
So far 10 goals have been scored against the Oilers during a powerplay - here are the goal scorers, the games and (just for shits and giggles) the Oiler who got to watch the goal scored from the penalty box.
Game #3 (In San Jose - Oilers won)
Cheechoo scores - Jason Smith in the box
Cheechoo scores again - Torres in the box
M. Michalek - Hemsky and Sykora (5 on 3)
Game #6 (In Edmonton - Against Vancouver - Oilers won)
Naslund - Tjarnqvist
Game #8 (In Edmonton - Against Phoenix - Oilers won)
Comrie - Thoresen
Game #10 (In Phoenix - Oilers lost)
Z. Michalek - Reasoner
Nagy - Horcoff
Game #12 (In Edmonton - Against Nashville - Oilers lost)
Weber - Horcoff
Game #15 (In Detroit - Oilers lost)
Hudler - Thoresen
Game #16 (In Columbus - Oilers won)
A. Carter - Winchester

Who's On The Penalty Kill?????
So far this season, here are the Oiler leaders with Time On Ice during the Penalty Kill.
J. Smith 85:06
S. Horcoff 68:51
S. Staios 68:38
D. Tjarnqvist 67:01
F. Pisani 55:17
Interestingly, despite playing 7 games to most of the team's 19 or 20, Moreau is still ranked 11th on the team with 27:16 minutes of Shorthanded Time On Ice. At the bottom (not counting the zeroes - Mikhnov and Jacques):
J. Lupul 1:27
P. Sykora 1:15
B. Winchester 0:08
R. Torres 0:02

So that's the Oiler Penalty Kill. A few wee tidbits - no real substance.

JUST SO I'M THE FIRST TO SAY IT......

2006-11-18T22:48:00.000-07:00

Detroit just scored with 3 seconds left in the game tonight to tie the game up.
Where's Mick McGeough when you need him??????????
He could have found a phantom call or non-existant non-call to nullify this late tying goal.

He hates late tying goals.

My ears. My aching ears.

2006-11-17T18:45:00.000-07:00

Just turned on NHL on TSN to watch Pittsburgh at Buffalo.
First of all, I really like those blue and yellow Buffalo jerseys. They are the nicest new kit this season. The worst? The regular Buffalo jerseys. It's been discussed to death, but yuckos muchachos.

Listening to Chris Cuthbert doing play-by-play during the game reminded me of how much I miss Cuthbert on CBC. Mark Lee has a smoother voice, Jim Hughson has a much better vocabulary and dynamics and, despite missing calls and not knowing player names, Bob Cole is like one of those gentlemen from archived games from the past (oh yeah, he IS from the past).
Cuthbert's voice itself is not the greatest tool, but he calls a game with clarity, some dynamics and keeps you interested in the game. He also lets the flow of the game take care of itself without too much fake drama or overexaggerating.

But Glenn Healy doing colour....I had to serve Mr. Healy drinks and listen to him expound for about an hour to someone at my bar during the Heritage Classic weekend. Normally I would listen in to what MAY HAVE been a fascinating hockey conversation and even chipped in my share, but just hearing his monologue caused me to lose interest.
Luckily Kelly Hrudey showed up the next day. He was much more interesting to speak to (I made him read a copy of In The Box - he pretended to enjoy it) and more accomodating to "the help."
( Was that just BRUSH WITH GREATNESS pt. 2? - Maybe)

Back to Chris Cuthbert. Mark Lee treated Oiler fans to most of the playoff games but I would have preferred Cuthbert - whose nickname is Cuss, by the way - to call the game.
Mark Lee is competent in a difficult job, but to me he is the poor man's Chris Cuthbert. Or maybe the deaf man's Chris Cuthbert?

Is nothing good enough?

2006-11-17T17:35:00.000-07:00

Edmonton 6
St. Louis 2
November 16, 2006

Watching Thursday night's game reminded me of what I most like and most hate about cheering for the Oilers.
Win or lose, Oiler games are usually exciting. The team does not make short work of its opponent very often. They either gut it out against really good teams or they show up and are just good enough to beat the bad ones.
Or they let the bad teams beat them. St. Louis has beaten Edmonton 4 out of the last six games (three losses last year out of four; one win and one loss this year) for example.
By the time the game was 3-0 at the end of the first period, the game looked like it would be a rare blowout win for the Oil. While it is nice to sit back and watch the team win, it is certainly not as much fun.
Now, how greedy is that? The Oilers win convincingly and I left feeling a little bit unsatisfied. There was no Ales Hemsky last-minute game-winner or
late game Ales Hemsky game-winner or Ryan Smyth third period hat trick. There was no overtime. There was no shootout (although I'm still on the fence about the shootout). It was so convincing a win it was almost boring.
Considering how badly the Oilers will need to get wins this year and their seemingly awful record against bad teams that should have been good enough. And it was good.

It reminded me of a question I asked myself at some point when I was pulling my hair in the mid-90s cheering for an Oiler team that WASN'T VERY GOOD.
"Dave," I asked myself, "Would you cheer for the Oilers if they always won and you knew before the season started that they would continue to win all the time?"
Truth is, no. I grew up in the high-flying 80s. The reason most of the Canadian hockey world still hate us in Edmonton is we won alot and got pretty used to it. The playoffs weren't even completely interesting until the second or third round. It was just assumed that the Oilers would roll into the playoffs and contend for the Cup. We got pretty complacent about it.

The fun is in not knowing. That's supposed to be the attraction of sports. At least for me it is. The game starts and you don't know who will win. You know who you WANT to win but you're not really sure if they will. So it means something when your team does win a game.

There's little pleasure in a rout except for the fact that it gives a little reassurance that the team isn't that bad after all. They can score. They can kick some ass. But into the third period of Tuesday's game, I started losing interest. The Oilers were going to win.
Oh well. Detroit and Calgary arrive soon. Things will get back to normal and I'll wish I had enjoyed the win a little more.

Now, if Edmonton beats Calgary 6-2........

Hockey In The Afternoon

2006-11-11T23:36:00.000-07:00

Oilers in St. Louis - November 12, 2006 at NOON???? MST
It's dumb. It's inconvenient. It's not hockey. A game at noon? I know it's really at 1PM in St. Louis, but hockey games should be played at night. Unless you're a kid playing minor hockey at ungodly hours in the morning, NHL hockey is a sport enjoyed at night.
It always seemed to me that the Oilers have not traditionally been very good during afternoon games.
They're not.
The Oilers are 32-45-10-1 all time (.426) in afternoon hockey games.
They're equally bad at home (8-11-3-0) as they are on the road (24-34-7-1) during those afternoon matches.
It's a silly American idea to put hockey games on in the afternoon. Baseball does it, American football does it. Hockey should not.

Anyway, let's look forward to the game.
The Oilers managed to beat one crappy team in a slump and St. Louis is another crappy team in a slump (they've lost their last three games - to Columbus and Chicago, no less). This team is waiting to be beaten. The Oilers have to beat them.
Bold Prediction:
Oilers 4 (Sykora, Petersen, Staios, Winchester?)- St. Louis 2 (Stempniak, Dvorak?)

Shameless Plug:
After the game (way after) attend a Hockey-Themed Techno Party at RATT.

Brush With Greatness Pt. 1

2006-11-09T22:35:00.000-07:00

Jackie Parker.

One of Edmonton's legends of sport passed away on November 7, 2006.

I had the honour of meeting Mr. Parker which wasn't really a difficult thing to do in Edmonton as he was known for being accessible and available to fans long after his football career was done.

I met Mr. Parker while working at this man's shortlived bar.I was determined to make Mr. Parker his eponymous drink. You will never get the chance to mix a Shirley Temple for Shirley Temple Black, you'll never meet a real Rocky Mountain BearFucker and you'll probably never meet a guy named Phil Sner.

A "Jackie Parker", by the way, is also known as a Cape Cod. Vodka and Cranberry Juice.

Enjoy a Jackie Parker this week in honour of a well-known and well-loved Edmonton sportsman.

TGIW

2006-11-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

Thank God It's Wednesday.
One of the biggest problems with writing about hockey in a weekly paper - entertainment paper, no less - is that by the time Vue hits the streets, games may have already happened.
Wednesday games effectively do not exist for "In The Box".
We send the column Tuesdays and the issue is put together on Wednesdays, printed and delivered.
That's why I'm glad the Detroit game happened on a Wednesday. The column for this week was put to bed and done by the time the Oilers embarassed themselves in Motown.
I'm sure this week's "In The Box" would have been pretty dire, negative and pissy if TB and I would have written it after tonight's game. As if it wasn't bad enough with McGeough's crap call, Pisani flubbing a potential shootout winner in Montreal and ZERO SHOTS ON GOAL in the first period against Detroit. What a week.
By the time TB and I have to submit next week's edition, hopefully the Oilers haven't added more losses to crappy Columbus, stinky St. Louis and (OK, they're alright) Colorado to this four-game losing streak.
If so, next week's column may include swearing. We can do that, being a cutting-edge alternative weekly.

Refs...Can't Play Without 'Em...Can't Kill 'Em

2006-11-04T09:27:00.000-07:00

Enough people have weighed in on this already. I'll take the more moderate and cautious route on this one.
WHAT THE BLOODY HELL HAPPENED LAST NIGHT??????
First, Eric Lindros executes a quite effective pick play on Dwayne Rolo, knocking his concentration off and his stick right out of his hands to clear a path for Brenden Morrow to pop a quick goal in the Oiler net. Iffy, but they got away with it.

Then, after needing two goals to tie the game up, MacT pulls Roloson for an extra attacker quite early and gets goal #1. Goal #2 is popped into the net by a tidy rebound recovery and Ales Hemsky scores another late and important goal for the Oilers. Here comes OT.
But wait! ? Panting and waving and gesticulating and rumbling down the ice from about 900 feet away is Magoo, insisting that the goal is null and void because of ............ a hand pass on the faceoff?????? Who calls that?????? He wasn't even the ref on that end of the ice.

People who know more about refereeing, please answer this question....
With a last-second important goal like that, why doesn't the linesman who was looking right down on the play and, oh, about four feet away from the play tell McGeough he was NOT RIGHT? Why doesn't the other referee, who was patrolling that end of the ice tell McGeough he was NOT CORRECT?

Mick told the press he bungled the call (gee thanks) and the replay showed it and I know refereeing is a difficult and thankless job. Split-second decisions have to be made and can't be reversed very easily or the refs lose their integrity. Standing behind a bad call (which will happen) is necessary to ensure refs can't be second-guessed or swayed by angry fans and players.

Please tell me that the call was not made in a desperate attempt to prevent more skating in OT.
In Edmonton's EDSA soccer, we often ran into refs who would not be physically fit enough to keep up with the play and would try to make calls from the middle of the field rather than follow the play, usually missing important calls. Or they would make phantom calls to slow play down and catch breathers.
I know other posters and critics have revelled in calling McGeough fat and lazy and overweight and obese and things like that, but refereeing hockey is damn hard work (I think - it looks like hard work, so naturally I haven't done it) and MM should be in good enough shape to handle it, right? He wouldn't be dreading more skating in overtime enough to create and manufacture a "hand pass on the faceoff" call in that crucial a situation would he?????

THE REAL VICTIM IN THIS DEBACLE:
There's this guy who works for the Oilers in Group Sales.
Blair McGeough (yes, he is related - yes, he is a nice guy) may as well throw his business cards out for at least a month and make up a pseudonym.
"Hi, Potential Ticket Buyer, I'm Blair McGeough......Ouch. Stop hitting me. Put that down. Ouch. Stop it. Where are you going?"

Edmonton 4, Ovechkin Nada

2006-10-29T15:17:00.000-07:00

A pretty decent showing by the oil on HNIC. Much better defensively then the last few games, a nice goal by Smitty (very nice, considering that in the past his shot has been referred to as a "muffin"), some good stops by Rollie and the ugliest empty net goal ever. Hanlon spent the entire game trying to fool the Oil D by sending Ovechkin out with a variety of line combinations. Uh, dude, his name's on the back of his jersey... Hell, he did everything short of put a fake mustache on the kid. (I tried to put one on the picture, but photoshop's being a bitch). Not the most exciting game, but a fine result.

All in all a good day hockey-wise: an Oil win, I spent the morning helping fix up a community outdoor rink, and played some very fun sopping-wet street hockey with the boys from Battle of Alberta and Covered in Oil. And, Oh yeah, the Flames lost...

The Twilight Zone - WOOOOOOOOOO

2006-10-27T21:52:00.000-07:00

So, when you have a baby (OK, someone you love has a baby and you're the proud dad) you have little to no spare time to go out like you used to (oh, five nights a week or so....) but when you're home with the baby and the baby's lovely mother is at work, you've got a lot of spare time - you just can't go anywhere.

Anyway.... on one of those nights with the baby sleeping, I decided to take the entire Oiler roster (it was just before the season started) and did a little Twilight Zone experiment.
I took every player on the Oilers (whether he was drafted by the Oilers or not) and checked which NHL hopeful was drafted one pick before and one pick after that player to see what kind of team the Oilers would have if all the drafts in the league shifted up one or down one pick. You follow?
Here's an example: In 2000, Traktor Boy Mikhnov was selected by the Oilers as their 17th pick. #16 was Marcel Hossa and #18 was Brooks Orpik.
Here's the Oiler roster if the world shifted, everything went goofy, dogs and cats started living together and we got everyone picked directly before the present Oiler player with the player in brackets. Welcome to the Big Waste of Time. Obviously House was not on TV that night.
ONE PICK EARLIER AND WE'D BE CHEERING FOR:
Jeff O'Neill (Smyth, 1994)
Alexandre Picard (Smid, 2002)
Marcel Hossa (Mikhnov, 2000)
Ryan Klesla (Torres, 2000)
Scottie Upshall (Lupul, 2002)
Ondrej Nemec (Stoll, 2002)
Mattias Ohlund (Moreau, 1994)
Derek Morris (Reasoner, 1996)
Sergei Bautin (Smith, 1992)
Ziggy Palffy (Staios, 1991)
Sami Kapanen (Tjarnqvist, 1995)
Dusan Salficky (Markkanen, 2001)
Joel Kwiatkowski (Pisani, 1996)
Kyle Brodziak (M. Roy)
Dan Hamhuis (Hemsky, 2001)

AND ONE PICK AFTER......
Jamie Storr (Smyth, 1994)
Brooks Orpik (Mikhnov, 2000)
Scott Hartnell (Torres, 2000)
Alexander Kharlamov (Moreau, 1994)
Danius Zubrus (Reasoner, 1996)
Martin Straka (Smith, 1992)
Jim Campbell (Staios, 1991)
Kyle Wellwood (Markkanen, 2001)
Andrej Podkonicky (Pisani, 1996)
Ryan Kesler (Pouliot, 2003)
Colin Fraser (Jacques, 2003)
Dimitri Nabokov (Sykora, 1995)
Chuck Kobasew (Hemsky, 2001)

That took a lot of work. Wouldn't fit into the column. Glad to pass it on. The draft really is a crapshoot once you've gotten past pick six or seven, isn't it?

Happy Fifth Birthday, Crazy Jersey

2006-10-27T21:20:00.000-07:00

Happy Fifth Birthday.
October 27, 2001.
Oilers unveil their Todd MacFarlane-designed third jersey to the Edmonton public on October 26, 2001.
October 27, 2001 - Oilers debut the sci-fi bestsellers in a 3-2 win over the Canucks.
The Oilers are 29-16-7-5 (W-L-T-OTL) all-time in the blue garb. They've already beaten Detroit and Phoenix this season.
Interesting Fact: No matter how many times they would wear the jerseys in a season, they would always lose 4 games in regulation while wearing them.
2001-02 - 8-4-1-1
2002-03 - 5-4-4-3
2003-04 - 9-4-1-1
2005-06 - 4-4-1

The Oiler roster we see today was in its infancy with Shawn Horcoff playing his first season with the team and Steve Staios was into his first season with the Oilers. Jussi saw his first games as an Oiler after a brief trip to the NY Rangers. Ethan Moreau, Jason Smith and Ryan Smyth were already a big part of the team. The core of the squad was being developed.

At first I thought the jersey was pretty cool. And, despite not wanting to like it, I still think it was a damn sight better than some others (any Calgary jersey, third or otherwise). The stories behind the design (the skate blade, the bolts to represent Cup wins, the use of the oil drop) helped.
The pub where I worked at the time (E&C on Whyte - 2nd best place to watch hockey - sorry, Greg) actually got to be one of only a handful of spots in the city to get the new unis and we got to see them the day of the official unveiling. I got to buy one and was one of the first in the city (one of hundreds, mind you) to own one. After wearing it for a couple months, it made a Christmas gift for my brother.
Happy Birthday, Crazy, Sci-Fi Looking, Spawn-Guy Designed, Lucky Third Jersey.

Bad and Badder

2006-10-27T19:01:00.000-07:00

oilers 2
ducks 6
and for good measure....
oilers 2
coyotes 6
Two games. Same result.
Except that Anaheim is not a bad team at all. They will do this once in a while.
Phoenix woke up. It must have been the loud bragging from the Oiler dressing room about the win last Monday that did it. They obviously forgot the night before in Disneyland.

The Bad:
Geez, I don't know....
1- Three assists for Prong; three assists for Comrie. Public Enemies #1 and #2, cuz you know people need to have their enemies.
2- Powerplay 2 for 10. Getting better at setting up, still not firing pucks in at the rate they should.
3- Laraque got a goal; Owen "haven't played in years" Nolan got a goal in Phoenix.
4- Another loss to a struggling team with an untested callup, third-to-fifth string goalie (LeNeveu in Phoenix - he didn't look too bad, though).
5- Two losses.

The Good:
1- Winchester, overlooked and mentioned in far too many trade "rumours" on web boards, is looking really fit and ready to keep his spot in the lineup. Even fought.
2- Reasoner fought?
3- Laraque got a goal. Hey, good for him. He's already half the way to the pair of goals he scored last season.
4- Gretzky gushing about Hemsky, calling him the best forward in hockey right now.
5- They're back home tomorrow. Apparently they pack their suitcases with suck.

Notes on the game

2006-10-24T20:30:00.000-07:00

Oilers 5
Phoenix 2

Monday night started out well. First of all, it was Monday, one of the few nights I can get to an Oiler game without needing to completely rearrange the schedules of myself, the lovely Heather, the baby, The Boy and people at work.
I actually showed up early and got to "enjoy" the meal supplied to the media by the Oilers. OK. It's usually quite good. I should know better than to take cheap shots at food - this isn't the Gateway. Long story.
Then I got to lug about 30 pounds (I weighed it) of books up to the catwalk. Had to stop and pant for most of the pre-game video.
Most interesting things about the game:
1-During the home games, the Oilers invite a young kid to join the team on the blueline during the anthem. Smytty had the class to call the proud and nervous kid over to stand between himself and Horcoff and shared some words with the young player. That was just another example of why Smytty will always be loved in this city. He still is that kid. He loves hockey more than I do or just about anyone in Canada.
2- Cool of the crowd to cheer Georges. Lucky they did when they could, what with about twenty seconds (OK 6:10 - only Mike Zigomanis played less and he got injured in the second period) on the ice to do so.
3- Enough with booing Comrie. I hate to agree with Bob Stauffer - although he is right quite often and by right I mean I agree with him - but it's getting pretty old. And cheering "Comrie swallows" in the third period? Please. I know they're the cheap seats, but acting like jackasses just gives the rich twits in the gold seats more ammunition to think they are better than us.
4- Speaking of rich (not sure about the twits part, haven't met him) people, Monday's game was the first time that I noticed the winning ticket announcement for the 50-50 draw was not made until the end of the game. Were the Oilers PR peeps purposely waiting until the crowd was distracted by sirens, cheering and Three Stars to announce that Gene Zwozdesky won nearly $25 g's? It may not have been the same Tory MLA Gene Zwozdesky - it is a common name....
5- Thoresen is for real. And with three assists on his new forward line he should be playing with Hemsky and Sykora for awhile. Covered In Oil were trying to find a new nickname for Thoresen (nice move by Pleasure Motors!! with The Electric Norseman).
I wonder what nickname Raffi Torres has for Thoresen. The bad vibes in being moved from the second to the third line are probably slightly mitigated by the sweet-ass feed Thor made to Raffi for the first goal.
6- Nice dive, Cujo. He is still one of my favourite former Oilers, but that dive was stinky. Just before that play, Cujo was almost caught bobbling the puck beside the net, nearly giving up the puck. Reminded me of watching Joseph get stranded in the corners while playing with the Oil and usually losing the puck and giving a goal away. That new goalie rule (no playing the puck in the corner trapezoids) keeps the dog on a leash, though.
7- That Ugly Jacket the Oilers won't speak of may have been from Wayne's closet, judging from the beige (ish) sport jacket Wayner was wearing behind the bench on Monday. He must have pulled the elbow pads off.

Looks like Smytty ends up...

2006-10-13T22:13:00.000-07:00

#4 All Time
Smytty's three goals in 2:01 did beat a Wayne Gretzky record (oh no, Wayne's getting erased from the Oiler record books....) but now the name Bill Mosienko has been bounced around once again since the Smytty feat.
Mosienko scored three goals in 21 seconds in 1952 for Chicago in the last game of the season. Both the Rangers and the Black Hawks were already out of the playoffs in a meaningless game that only saw just over 2000 fans. Rumour has it that a young Stan Fischler (the model for the shortlived sailor logo the Isles had a few years ago?) was a cub reporter at that game.
The Rangers goalie Lorne Anderson had already been shelled for 10 goals in his two previous game for the team and never played again after that in the NHL.

2nd fastest...
Jean Beliveau 44 seconds

3rd fastest...
Carl Liscombe of Detroit 1:04 1938

4th fastest...
our own mullet man also just edged out...

5th fastest..
Peter Bondra scored three goals in 2:06 while a Capital

6th fastest....
Wayne Gretzky scored three goals in 2:18 vs. St. Louis in a 9-2 rout in 1981. Gretzky also scored four goals in 7:58 in that game and five goals total.

7th....
Don Maloney of the Rangers scored three in 2:30 vs. Washington in 1981

If anyone has any more research to add to this, please do. It was tough enough finding these stats. There may be other records I've missed. I noticed no one out there had yet determined where Smytty stood overall in NHL history with his trio of quick garbage goals. Hopefully no more records pop up and Ryan Smyth remains with the fourth fastest three goals in NHL history.

Ryan's Myth

2006-10-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

San Jose 4 - Edmonton 6

What can't this guy do? He can score ugly goals in tight little bunches. He can stop pucks with his teeth (and I'm not so sure anymore that P-Wronger didn't mean to do that). And when other players like Ricci and Jagr have strayed from the path, Smyth still proudly maintains his short-long. Maybe he does it to honour the Oiler teams of the 80's, who would look directly into the gaping maw of a three-goal deficit and laugh their jovial, boyish laughs because they knew they would come back.

Yes, it would appear that running and/or gunning is back, and I couldn't be happier. Unless Kipper gets a case of necrotizing fasciitis in his leg. Five goals in four games? Suck it, Flames.

FYI, Calgary makes me LMAO

2006-10-12T10:07:00.000-07:00

The first week of what looks like a crazy season-to-be is over and the Oilers managed to split a home at home series with the (blah) Calgary Flames. Game one here in Edmonchuk saw a decisive 3-1 win and game two in Cowtown ended with a razor-thin 2-1 Oiler loss. Coming up next week: San Jose, Colorado, Vancouver and Vancouver. Hey Oiler fans. This season looks like it will be steeped. (ugh)

WTF: Wayne’s Tuck Followers
Keep your eyes on Petr Sykora’s hips. No, really. It looks like he may be bringing back a little Edmonton tradition. In parts of game one and what seemed like every other shift in game two, Sykora was sporting the “Gretzky Tuck”—you know, with the right side of the hockey sweater tucked into the hockey pant. I’m not sure if it was on purpose or just a result of the huge windup he takes on big slappers, but we’ll have to check. I noticed some photos with Sykora sporting the style in both Rangers and Devils uniforms. Gretzky started the tradition at age six when his hockey jersey was far too large (to his knees) and Walter tucked it into the right side of his little pants allowing little Wayne to stickhandle and shoot. Doug Weight still does it and an obscure one-time Oiler named Mike Comrie also sported the tuck. Rod Brindamour also sucks (er, tucks). DY

BYOB: Big Year Or Bust
Of course, everybody is hoping for a good showing this season following last year’s cup run. One of those predicting such a showing is none other than CBC commentator Kelly Hrudey, the blue-headbanded one himself, who has said that the Oil will score over 300 goals this year, a feat that they haven’t accomplished since the 1989-90 season. Can the Oil average almost four goals a game? Maybe. Will they allow that many? Uh, maybe. It’s gonna be some kinda ride. TB

SOS: Stymie Opposing Swedes
Czech defenceman (and all-around mystery man to Oiler fans) Jan Hejda has yet to start a game for the Oilers but he is the seventh d-man on the depth chart. Suggestion: play him against Vancouver and Detroit as both teams sport a handful of prominent Swedes. Hejda (I’m not quite a citizen of the world so I can only guess if the Czech name and Swedish word are pronounced the same) translates in Swedish as “to check” or “to stop”. He was born to face Swedes and HEJDA them. DY

BYOB: Bring Your Own Banner
When the Oilers hung their CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP BANNER last week, it was a short, tasteful ceremony. There. Done. We came close, and this is what we got. Over to Calgary, and the raising of the DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP BANNER. Apparently, despite getting bounced in the first round, this is grounds for a ceremony rivaling the retirement of Gretzky, Messier and Ralph Klein combined. A few of the Flames even looked a tad embarassed by the whole production. TB

AWOL: A Week in Oiler Land
One win. One loss. Four goals/44 shots for. Three goals/60 shots against. Puck in the mush to Stevie Staios. Roli denies Iggy in a penalty shot. Sykora/Hemsky heating up. Joff Lupul’s/Daniel Tjarnqvist’s/Petr Sykora’s first Oiler goal. One new banner. Bring on week two. DY

TGIF: Trends Get I Fired-up (Ouch)
Of course, it's far too early in the season to really put much weight in these trends, but I find them entertaining, so suck it up, princess, here we go: the Rangers are scoring and winning; the Islanders are getting scored on and losing (there's some money well spent). Buffalo scares me. So does San Jose. Ottawa can score in buckets but has no goalie. Nashville can score in buckets but has no D. Calgary can still only win 2-1 (and is still one knee injury away from last place). More next week! Woo! TB

Game One - Done and Done

2006-10-06T16:17:00.000-07:00

No time for a full game summary, but how about the first game of this season?
Beat the (pfft) Flames here in Edmonton, raise the Western Conference banner (yeah, yeah it wasn't the Cup Banner) and nearly shut the rivals out save a late Iginla goal.
Roloson burned Iginla with an early penalty shot stop, the defence didn't look bad at all and the team looked like a team.
Yes. Game One. Done and done.

Fearless prognostications in Oil country

2006-10-04T09:45:00.000-07:00

It’s hockey time. It’s hockey time. It’s hockey time. Alright, that’s enough. After a near-miss at game seven of the Stanley Cup Finals it’s time for the Oilers to somehow match or beat the sideshow they provided last year. The team looks just a little different, but this city’s born-again Oiler-mania should be the same. The question is: How long will it last? And have you checked out Loose Bolts yet?

Czech, Czech and Check.

I’m really looking forward to the Petr Sykora, Raffi Torres and Ales Hemsky line this year. When the Oilers signed Sykora, he immediately talked about how much he was looking forward to playing with fellow Czech Hemsky. With Torres to grit things up and bang the puck loose, the two Czechs can dance around with the puck. The disappointing thing about this line? Sykora, while he can play centre, should be on the opposite wing from Hemsky with a more natural centreman in between. Sykora also said he needs to use a heavier stick to help win faceoffs, losing a little flex in his wicked shot. Maybe Coach MacT can teach Torres how to win draws in the circle. DY

Have you seen my website?

The NHL recently updated its website (nhl.com) to look more like the sites of the other major sports leagues. It's flashier, friendlier and full of the trivia and stats that make nerds like me drool. It has hot buttons for all the teams, and a pull-down menu for all the NHL's affiliate sites. But the best-slash-worst-slash-best-again section of the site would have to be the pull-down menu for NHL Player Sites. Of the roughly 800 players currently in the NHL, a whopping four players have opted to use this service supplied by the league webmasters. The most obvious inclusion would have to Sidney "The Kid" Crosby, seeing as the league wants everyone to know just how awesome he is. Slightly more confusing would be the presence of Eddie "The Eagle" Belfour and Kevin "Do I Still Have A Job?" Weekes. Are elderly back-up goalies really that big with the web-surfing public? And then there's the final member of this very exclusive club, Edmonton's own Raffi "Porn-Star Landing Strip Facial-Hair Thingy" Torres. I mean, I like Torres and all, but is this really necessary? Do I need to know his favourite colour (blue) or his boyhood idol (Wendel Clark)? Not really, I guess, but it's a ballsy move putting it up there. TB

Coincidences abound.

I just rented The Rocket the other day. See it, sports fans. Roy Dupuis nailed Maurice Richard (why not? He’s played the hockey legend three times now) and 1940s hockey looked raw and rea—we really missed out. And by we, I mean our spoiled rotten, shallow generation. Canadian actor Stephen McHattie lit up the screen with his Svengali-like caricature of legendary Habs coach Dick Irvin. McHattie’s portrayal of Irvin seemed to channel Paul Newman’s Reggie Dunlop from Slap Shot. But player-coach Reggie Dunlop was actually based on former Leafs coach John Brophy, not Dick Irvin. Here’s where it gets weird. Both Brophy and McHattie hail from Antigonish, Nova Scotia and McHattie also played Elaine’s controlling psychologist Dr Reston in Seinfeld—or, as Elaine misprounced it: “SvenJOLLY”. DY

Look ma, we’re on teh interw3b.

After blowing some sunshine their way a couple of weeks ago, the boys at the Covered in Oil blogsite were so touched they told us to “go get your own blog, losers.” So we did. Come give us a visit at www.vueweekly-inthebox.blogspot.com. As well as posting the weekly column, we’ll be talking about current events in the world of hockey, hosting a few surveys, and maybe even give some crap away, too. But try to be nice, we’re total newbs. TB

Fearless Oiler Predictions

Dave: The team will make the playoffs. Starting with game one against Calgary, at least six people in (blech) Flames jerseys will get kicked out of Rexall during each of the Battles of Alberta. One veteran Oiler will suffer a season-ending (and potentially career-ending) injury. Goals will come in buckets, but no single Oiler will be in the top 15 in scoring. At least four Oilers will be in the top 30 in scoring, though. The powerplay will strike often, but will give up too many shorthanded opportunities with forwards on the point and what’s-his-name gone. MacT will keep getting funnier in post and pre-game interviews. We’ll find out who the real fans are this season as the playoff bandwagon party becomes a regular season rollercoaster ride. DY

TB: Ok, I know that everyone in Oilerville is wondering how we’re going to do this year without old what’s-his-nuts on the blueline. Sure, Pronger played a lot of minutes, and hard ones at that. But if the Oil had gotten just four less points last season and missed the playoffs, no one would be saying boo about him leaving town. We may not be flush with Norris trophy candidates per se, but it’s not as if MacTavish is just stuffing hobos into jerseys and hoping for the best, either. If everything does start to go horribly wrong, I don’t think we’ll have to wait long for MacT to pull the trigger. We’re deep up front and in goal, and it shouldn’t take more than a month for some teams (the Leafs!) to realize that they’re just playing out the string. As for predictions—what I’m actually supposed to be doing here—watch for Lupul to shine, Smith to get meaner, Bergeron to mature and Hemsky to make goalies bleed out their eyes. TB

More Fearless Predictions From The “Experts”

“I don’t feel that they will make the playoffs. When Jason Smith and Steve Staios are our main d-men they won’t make the playoffs. And (Daniel) Tjarnqvist is on the number one pair? Tjarnqvist? They have too many question marks this year. I went to a pre-season game and the defence was mostly rookies—they were all over the place letting in goals. They looked terrible.”
Brent Oliver—local musician, promoter (Brent Oliver Presents) and President of the Green Pepper Hockey League.

“I think they’ll do good like last year. Now they have more fast players and better scorers. They’re missing Chris Pronger, though.”
“The Boy”—Kai, age 7. New hockey fan.

“Ales Hemsky will have a breakout year, scoring over 85 points and making his first all-star team. Joffrey Lupul will lead them in goals, Hemsky will lead in points and as a team they will finish in the top five in goals scored. The Battle of Alberta will be a battle for first place in the Northwest with the Flames winning by less than four points. The Oil will finish fifth or sixth and Rexall will once again be a madhouse in April and (hopefully for Oilers fans) in May as well.”
Jason Gregor hosts “Just A Game” weeknights at 9 PM on Team 1260 Edmonton Sports Radio.

“Things just wouldn’t feel right if the Oilers failed to start the season with at least one glaring, potentially team-crippling question mark—last year it was goaltending, this year it’s defence. Still, our offence looks pretty scary and Roloson is great when someone isn’t breaking his knee, so I think we’ll do all right. But a deep post-season feel pretty damn unlikely unless we pull off a trade for a veteran offensive presence on the blue line. Smith-Staios is just not going to cut it. Cautiously optimistic predictions: Oilers win all eight games against Calgary this year; Hemsky scores 40 goals.”
Chris!—Covered in Oil co-Blogger (www.coveredinoil.blogspot.com)

“I predict that the Oilers will break the Cup-loser-misses the playoffs curse and finish in eighth. No higher because I can’t see Roloson doing what he did in the playoffs over a full regular season and the numbers 4-6 d-men are real question marks. Calgary and Edmonton will play for Western Conference Championship. Belinda Stronach will date a prominent Oiler, who will then ask for a trade for personal reasons. Oh, and to the
IMPORTANT stuff ... Leafs ... finish … last ... in ... East ... win draft lottery.”
Steven Sandor—co-founder In the Box, former Oilers Zone editor, author of the Battle of Alberta (Heritage House) and current sports editor, 24 Hours in Toronto.

“With three killer lines up front, the Oilers have all the firepower they need and nothing to worry about on the attack. Awesome acquisitions in the off-season should pan out big time. Sykora and Lupul are already fitting in nicely. The big question is on the blue line. Do the Oilers have the defence they need to get to another Stanley Cup final? I say yes. Veteran D-man Jason Smith has some promising young talent to paint copper and blue. His leadership, along with a solid coaching staff, and a proven set of goalies should be enough to take us in to another strong playoff run. Bring an extra loonie to Rexall Place this year. Beer went up one dollar to $7.50 ... ouch!”
Kory Read—Sonic 102.9 news/sports guy. He won his job in a contest—and he kept it.

“What the Oilers have is confidence. The confidence that comes from just about winning the Stanley Cup. This club can score right out of the gate and fight from behind. They could be fighting for first or second place in the division. It’s going to be a great year for the Oiler fans.”
Billy Warwick—played for the New York Rangers from 1942-44, founded “Billy’s Guide” in Edmonton

Awkward First Steps...

2006-10-03T09:53:00.000-07:00

So here we are, going online like the boys at Covered In Oil kept telling us we should, so that all of you can bathe in the healthy glow of our radness. Basically, opening ourselves up to the online derision that I usually enjoy seeing heaped on others. This will either go well, or end in a blind rage and a cloud of carcinogenic monitor smoke. Woo!